CHILDREN, OBEY YOUR PARENTS
By Rev. Samuel Arimoro
Main Text: Ephesians 6:1-4
Key Verse: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” — Ephesians 6:1 (KJV)
Supporting Texts: Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Proverbs 1:8-9; Proverbs 6:20-22; Colossians 3:20; Luke 2:51-52.
Description: This message teaches children the biblical importance of obeying and honouring their parents, showing how obedience reflects godly character, promotes wisdom, and contributes to a peaceful and well-ordered family.
INTRODUCTION
The family is one of the foundational institutions established by God, and parents have an important responsibility to nurture, guide, teach, and protect their children. Children, in turn, are instructed in Scripture to obey and honour their parents. In Ephesians 6:1, Apostle Paul declares, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” This command shows that obedience is not merely a cultural expectation; it is a biblical responsibility rooted in God's design for family life.
Obedience means listening to rightful instructions and responding with a willing and respectful attitude. It involves more than doing what parents say when they are watching. It includes developing a teachable spirit, accepting correction, speaking respectfully, and making choices that reflect the values taught at home. Parents are not perfect, but God has entrusted them with the responsibility of guiding their children, and children are called to respond with respect and obedience within the boundaries of what is right before God.
In a generation where some children are influenced by peer pressure, social media, rebellion, and the desire for independence, the biblical command remains relevant. Godly obedience helps children develop discipline, wisdom, responsibility, and respect for authority. However, biblical obedience is not a command to participate in sin, conceal abuse, or remain silent in dangerous situations. Children should obey rightful parental instructions, while seeking help from trusted adults when they face harmful or unsafe demands. God's Word calls families to love, responsibility, and godliness.
1. OBEDIENCE TO PARENTS IS GOD'S COMMAND
Ephesians 6:1 begins with a direct instruction: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.” Paul does not present obedience as an optional suggestion for children who happen to like their parents. He identifies it as a right and proper response within God's design for the family.
God gives parents the responsibility to guide their children towards maturity. Through parental instructions, children learn discipline, respect, responsibility, and the difference between wise and foolish choices. When children develop a habit of obedience, they are better prepared to receive instruction and exercise good judgement as they grow.
a) Obedience Is Right Before God (Ephesians 6:1)
Paul says that children should obey their parents because this is right. Obedience is therefore connected to righteousness, not merely to avoiding punishment. A child who obeys learns to recognise that personal desires are not the only consideration in making decisions.
For example, when parents instruct a child to complete schoolwork before playing, the instruction may seem inconvenient. Yet obeying can teach the child time management, responsibility, and self-discipline.
Practical Application: Children should listen carefully when parents give reasonable instructions and carry them out without unnecessary argument or deliberate delay.
b) Obedience Must Be Practised With Respect (Colossians 3:20)
Colossians 3:20 teaches children to obey their parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. This instruction includes the attitude with which obedience is practised. A child may eventually carry out an instruction but still respond with insults, mockery, or deliberate disrespect.
Godly obedience should be accompanied by respectful speech and conduct. Children can express questions or concerns, but they should learn to do so without contempt, shouting, or dishonesty.
Practical Application: When you disagree with your parents, speak calmly, explain your concern respectfully, and listen to their response.
c) Obedience Is Part of Christian Discipleship (John 14:15)
Jesus taught His followers that love for Him should be demonstrated through obedience to His commandments. Although this verse specifically addresses obedience to Christ, it illustrates a broader biblical principle: genuine love is expressed through conduct.
Children who are learning to follow Jesus should allow their faith to shape their behaviour at home. They should not be respectful in church while being deliberately rude or rebellious towards their parents.
Practical Application: Let your Christian faith be evident in how you speak to your parents, respond to correction, and fulfil your responsibilities at home.
d) Obedience Must Be Guided by God's Word (Acts 5:29)
The Bible teaches that we must obey God rather than human beings when human instructions directly conflict with God's commands. Parental authority is important, but it is not absolute. Children must not be compelled to sin, participate in wrongdoing, or submit to abuse in the name of obedience.
A child who faces an instruction that is sinful or dangerous should seek help from a trustworthy adult, pastor, teacher, safeguarding professional, or appropriate authority. Respect for parents must never be used to excuse abuse or conceal danger.
Practical Application: Obey rightful instructions, but if an instruction requires wrongdoing or makes you unsafe, seek help from a trusted and responsible adult.
Biblical Example: Jesus as a Child (Luke 2:51-52)
After His parents found Him in the temple, Jesus returned to Nazareth with them and was subject to them. The passage also records His growth in wisdom, stature, and favour with God and people. Jesus' example demonstrates the importance of submission, growth, and responsible conduct during childhood.
2. OBEDIENCE BEGINS WITH LISTENING TO PARENTAL INSTRUCTION
Before a child can obey an instruction, the child must be willing to listen. Many conflicts in the home begin when children ignore instructions, become distracted, interrupt their parents, or assume that they already know what is best.
Listening is an important part of learning. Parents have experiences that children may not yet possess, and their instructions can help protect children from avoidable mistakes. Although parents can sometimes be mistaken, a child who listens respectfully creates room for explanation, understanding, and wise decision-making.
a) Listen to Your Father's Instruction (Proverbs 1:8)
Proverbs 1:8 says, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father.” The verse presents parental instruction as a valuable source of guidance. A father may teach a child about discipline, work, responsibility, relationships, and the consequences of poor decisions.
Children should not assume that parental instruction is useless simply because it differs from their preferences. A willingness to listen allows them to consider advice that may protect them and prepare them for adulthood.
Practical Application: When your father speaks to you about an important matter, stop what you are doing, listen attentively, and ask respectful questions if you need clarification.
b) Do Not Reject Your Mother's Teaching (Proverbs 1:8-9)
The same passage tells children not to forsake their mother's law. Mothers often provide daily guidance, care, correction, and encouragement. Their instructions may concern schoolwork, personal hygiene, household responsibilities, relationships, and spiritual life.
Children should not despise their mother's counsel or assume that her instructions are unimportant. Respecting a mother's guidance is part of learning gratitude and recognising the sacrifices involved in raising a family.
Practical Application: Listen when your mother corrects or advises you, and show appreciation for the care and guidance she provides.
c) Receive Correction With a Teachable Spirit (Proverbs 12:1)
Scripture teaches that a person who loves instruction loves knowledge, while rejecting correction is foolish. Correction helps children recognise mistakes and develop better habits. A child who refuses every correction may repeat the same errors and miss valuable opportunities to grow.
Correction should be given with care and should never involve abuse. Children, however, should learn to receive appropriate correction without immediately becoming defensive or blaming others.
Practical Application: When corrected for a mistake, acknowledge what happened, apologise if necessary, and make a practical effort to improve.
d) Remember Instructions and Apply Them (Proverbs 6:20-22)
Proverbs encourages children to keep their parents' commandments and teaching close to their hearts. The passage describes instruction as guidance that can lead a person along the way. Parental wisdom becomes useful when children apply it in daily life rather than merely hearing it.
For instance, a child who has been taught to avoid dishonest friends should remember that instruction when choosing companions. A child who has been taught to tell the truth should practise honesty even when lying seems easier.
Practical Application: Remember the important lessons your parents teach you and apply them when making decisions at school, at home, and among friends.
Biblical Example: Samuel (1 Samuel 3:1-10)
Samuel was serving the Lord under Eli's guidance when he heard a voice calling him. At first, he did not understand what was happening, but he responded to Eli's instruction to say, “Speak; for thy servant heareth.” Samuel's experience illustrates the importance of being teachable and listening carefully to guidance.
3. OBEDIENCE PROTECTS CHILDREN FROM AVOIDABLE TROUBLE
Parental instructions often arise from concern for a child's safety, future, and character. Parents may recognise dangers that children do not yet understand because of their greater experience. Obedience can therefore protect children from harmful relationships, irresponsible choices, and avoidable consequences.
Not every parental decision will be perfect, and children may sometimes need to discuss an instruction or seek help from another responsible adult. Nevertheless, a habit of respectful listening and obedience can prevent many problems and help children learn to make wise choices.
a) Obedience Helps You Avoid Harmful Choices (Proverbs 4:14-15)
Proverbs warns against entering the path of the wicked and instructs the reader to avoid it. Parents may warn children about dishonest companions, dangerous places, harmful online activities, or behaviours that can damage their future.
A child who ignores every warning may expose himself or herself to unnecessary danger. Wise obedience means taking good advice seriously and thinking about the likely consequences of a decision.
Practical Application: Take parental warnings about dangerous activities, unsafe relationships, and harmful online behaviour seriously, and ask for guidance when uncertain.
b) Obedience Develops Self-Discipline (Proverbs 25:28)
Proverbs compares a person without self-control to a city whose walls are broken down. Self-discipline helps a person manage anger, desires, time, and behaviour. Children begin developing this discipline when they learn to follow reasonable instructions even when they do not feel like doing so.
A child who learns to finish assignments, keep promises, control angry reactions, and respect agreed rules is developing habits that can support success in education, relationships, work, and ministry.
Practical Application: Practise self-discipline by completing your duties before entertainment and by controlling your words when you feel angry.
c) Obedience Helps You Choose Good Companions (Proverbs 13:20)
The Bible teaches that walking with wise people promotes wisdom, while keeping company with fools brings harm. Parents may sometimes recognise unhealthy friendships before children understand the risks.
Children should consider advice about their companions carefully. A genuine friend will not continually pressure them to lie, steal, bully others, engage in sexual wrongdoing, or participate in dangerous activities.
Practical Application: Choose friends who encourage honesty, respect, learning, good character, and faith in God.
d) Obedience Helps You Prepare for the Future (Proverbs 6:6-8)
Proverbs points to the ant as an example of diligence and preparation. Children who learn responsibility early are better prepared to manage adult life. Parents can teach these lessons through schoolwork, chores, saving, punctuality, and the proper use of time.
Obedience is not only about immediate compliance; it can help children develop habits that serve them for many years. A child who learns diligence today may become a more responsible student, worker, spouse, parent, and leader in the future.
Practical Application: Develop good habits now by managing your time, completing your responsibilities, and taking your education and character seriously.
Biblical Example: Joseph (Genesis 37:12-14)
Jacob sent Joseph to check on his brothers, and Joseph responded by going as instructed. Although the events that followed became difficult, Joseph's willingness to carry out the assignment demonstrates responsiveness to parental instruction. His broader life also shows the value of integrity, perseverance, and trust in God through changing circumstances.
4. HONOUR YOUR PARENTS THROUGH YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS
Obedience and honour are closely related, but they are not identical. Obedience concerns responding appropriately to rightful instructions, while honour involves showing respect, appreciation, and regard for one's parents. Ephesians 6:2 connects obedience with the command to honour father and mother.
Children can honour their parents through respectful speech, gratitude, helpfulness, honesty, and responsible conduct. Honour does not require pretending that parents are perfect. It means treating them with dignity while seeking appropriate help when their actions cause harm or create danger.
a) Speak Respectfully to Your Parents (Exodus 20:12)
The command to honour father and mother calls children to treat their parents with respect. Insults, mocking, contempt, and deliberate humiliation undermine family relationships and demonstrate poor character.
Respectful speech does not mean that children cannot ask questions or express disagreement. They can speak honestly about their concerns while avoiding abusive language and unnecessary hostility.
Practical Application: Remove insults and disrespectful expressions from your conversations with your parents, and practise speaking calmly even when you are upset.
b) Show Gratitude for Their Sacrifices (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Many parents sacrifice time, energy, resources, and personal comfort to care for their children. They may work long hours, provide school fees, prepare meals, offer guidance, and pray for their children's future.
Children may not always understand these sacrifices immediately, but they can learn to express gratitude. Appreciation strengthens family relationships and helps children avoid taking parental care for granted.
Practical Application: Thank your parents for their care and help, and look for practical ways to make their responsibilities easier.
c) Help With Responsibilities at Home (Galatians 6:2)
The Bible encourages believers to bear one another's burdens. Within the family, children can contribute by keeping their rooms clean, helping with household chores, caring appropriately for younger siblings, and completing their own duties without constant reminders.
Helping at home is not a replacement for parental responsibility; it is a way children can demonstrate consideration and maturity. A cooperative attitude can reduce unnecessary tension and make family life more peaceful.
Practical Application: Choose appropriate household responsibilities and carry them out faithfully without waiting to be asked every time.
d) Care for Your Parents as You Mature (1 Timothy 5:4)
Scripture teaches the importance of showing practical godliness within the family and repaying parents and grandparents for the care they have given. As children grow older and become capable of helping, they can honour their parents through companionship, practical assistance, and appropriate support.
This responsibility should be exercised according to one's age, ability, and circumstances. Children are not expected to carry adult burdens before they are ready, but they can develop a grateful and caring attitude as they mature.
Practical Application: As you grow, look for suitable ways to support your parents, communicate with them, and show appreciation for their care.
Biblical Example: Jesus Cares for His Mother (John 19:26-27)
As Jesus hung on the cross, He made provision for the care of His mother by entrusting her to the beloved disciple. Even in the midst of immense suffering, Jesus demonstrated concern for her welfare. His example teaches the importance of responsible care and practical love within the family.
5. OBEYING YOUR PARENTS BRINGS BLESSING AND PLEASES GOD
Ephesians 6:2–3 connects honouring one's parents with a promise of wellbeing and long life. Paul draws upon the commandment given in the Old Testament, showing that the principle of honouring parents remains important in Christian family life.
This promise should not be interpreted as a guarantee that every obedient child will avoid sickness, suffering, or an early death. Scripture does not make such a claim. Rather, the command establishes a God-honouring way of life that promotes wisdom, healthy relationships, and responsible conduct. Obedience also brings the joy of knowing that one is seeking to please the Lord.
a) Obedience Pleases the Lord (Colossians 3:20)
Paul explicitly says that obedience to parents pleases the Lord. This gives children a spiritual reason to obey: their conduct at home is part of their Christian life. Worship, prayer, and church attendance should be accompanied by godly behaviour in the family.
A child who desires to please God should therefore take family responsibilities seriously and seek to show Christlike character at home.
Practical Application: Before ignoring a reasonable instruction, ask yourself whether your response reflects the obedience and love God desires.
b) Honour Is Connected With God's Promise (Ephesians 6:2-3)
Paul refers to the commandment to honour father and mother, which included a promise of wellbeing and long life in the land God gave Israel. The principle teaches that honouring parents is important to a stable and responsible life.
Respect for parental wisdom can help children avoid unnecessary conflict and learn habits that support their wellbeing. Yet this promise should never be used to blame a child who experiences suffering or to suggest that an abused child must remain in danger.
Practical Application: Honour your parents as an expression of faith, while remembering that God's care is not measured by the absence of every hardship.
c) Wisdom Grows Through Teachability (Proverbs 9:9)
Proverbs teaches that instructing a wise person can make that person wiser. A teachable child is willing to learn, receive correction, and consider guidance. Such an attitude prepares a person for continued growth throughout life.
No child knows everything, and no adult has nothing left to learn. Humility helps children benefit from the experience of their parents, teachers, pastors, and other trustworthy people.
Practical Application: Welcome sound advice, ask questions when you do not understand, and be willing to change when you discover that you are wrong.
d) Obedience Helps Build a Peaceful Home (Romans 12:18)
The Bible instructs believers, as far as it depends on them, to live peaceably with all people. Children contribute to family peace when they speak respectfully, fulfil responsibilities, and resolve disagreements without deliberate hostility.
Peace does not mean that children must hide wrongdoing or remain silent when someone is being harmed. True peace is supported by honesty, safety, justice, mutual respect, and a willingness to correct what is wrong.
Practical Application: Be a peacemaker at home by telling the truth, apologising when you are wrong, fulfilling your duties, and seeking help when a problem cannot be resolved safely.
Biblical Example: Isaac and Abraham (Genesis 22:6-9)
Isaac accompanied Abraham to the place of sacrifice and asked a question about the offering. The narrative portrays him as travelling with his father during a serious moment of faith. However, the passage should not be used to teach children to obey harmful or dangerous instructions blindly. Christian obedience is always understood in the light of God's character and the full teaching of Scripture.
CONCLUSION
God commands children to obey their parents in the Lord because obedience is right and pleasing to Him. Through listening, receiving correction, practising self-discipline, speaking respectfully, and helping at home, children develop character that can serve them throughout life. The examples of Jesus, Samuel, and other biblical figures demonstrate the value of being teachable and responsive to godly guidance. Parents also have a responsibility to guide their children with love, wisdom, patience, and appropriate discipline.
Every child should examine his or her attitude towards parental instruction. Do you listen when your parents speak? Do you respond respectfully when corrected? Do you fulfil your responsibilities without unnecessary argument? Ask God to help you become obedient, responsible, and wise. Parents should also create homes where children can ask questions, speak about their concerns, and receive loving guidance. May our families become places where God's Word is honoured, children grow in wisdom, and parents and children treat one another with love, dignity, and respect.
PRAYER POINTS
1. Father, give me a willing and obedient heart, in Jesus name.
2. Lord, help me to honour my father and mother, in Jesus name.
3. Father, deliver me from pride, stubbornness, and rebellion, in Jesus name.
4. Lord, teach me to listen and receive correction wisely, in Jesus name.
5. Father, help me speak respectfully to my parents, in Jesus name.
6. Lord, give me wisdom to choose good friends and make right decisions, in Jesus name.
7. Father, help me develop discipline and responsibility, in Jesus name.
8. Lord, make our homes places of love, peace, and godly instruction, in Jesus name.
9. Father, strengthen parents to guide their children with wisdom and love, in Jesus name.
10. Lord, help every child grow in wisdom, stature, and favour with You, in Jesus name.
PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS
1. You will grow in wisdom, understanding, and godly character.
2. You will develop a teachable and obedient heart.
3. You will honour your parents with respect and gratitude.
4. You will make wise choices and resist harmful influences.
5. You will grow in discipline, responsibility, and integrity.
6. You will receive grace to learn from correction and become wiser.
7. You will contribute to peace and love in your family.
8. You will grow in knowledge, stature, and favour with God and people.
9. You will become a blessing to your family and your generation.
10. You will walk in God's wisdom and fulfil His purpose for your life, in the mighty name of Jesus.
