WORDS THAT HEAL AND WORDS THAT DESTROY

WORDS THAT HEAL AND WORDS THAT DESTROY

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Ephesians 4:29; Proverbs 18:21; Proverbs 12:18

Key Verse: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” — Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)

Supporting Texts: Proverbs 15:1; Proverbs 16:24; Matthew 12:36-37; James 3:5-10; Colossians 4:6

Description: This sermon teaches how words can either bring healing, encouragement and restoration or cause wounds, division and destruction, challenging believers to use their tongues to minister grace and life.

INTRODUCTION

Words are powerful instruments that can influence emotions, shape relationships, strengthen faith and affect the direction of people's lives. A single sentence can restore hope to a discouraged person, while another sentence can leave a wound that remains for years. God has therefore given believers the responsibility to use their words wisely, recognising that speech is not merely a means of communication but also a means of ministering to others.

In Ephesians 4:29, Paul commands believers not to allow corrupt communication to proceed from their mouths. Instead, their words must be suitable for building others up according to their needs. The apostle was teaching the church to put away the practices of the old life and demonstrate the character of Christ in everyday relationships. Christian maturity must be evident not only in prayer, worship and spiritual gifts but also in the words we speak at home, in church, at work and in public.

Every believer must therefore examine the effect of their speech. Do our words bring comfort or sorrow? Do they encourage people to grow or make them feel worthless? Do they promote unity or create division? We cannot always control how others respond to us, but by the help of the Holy Spirit, we can control what comes out of our mouths. Our tongues must become instruments of healing rather than weapons of destruction.

1. THE POWER OF WORDS TO GIVE LIFE OR DEATH

Words are never as insignificant as they may appear. Proverbs 18:21 teaches that death and life are in the power of the tongue. This means that our speech can produce consequences that affect our spiritual lives, relationships and communities. We must learn to speak with wisdom, love and a sense of responsibility.

A believer should never treat words carelessly. Before speaking, we must consider whether our words are true, necessary, loving and helpful.

a. Words Can Strengthen the Discouraged (Proverbs 12:25)

“Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.” — Proverbs 12:25 (KJV)

A person may appear cheerful outwardly while carrying deep sorrow within. A timely word of encouragement can help such a person regain courage and face life again. God can use your words to remind someone that their present situation is not the end of their story.

Never underestimate the power of saying, “God has not abandoned you,” “You can rise again,” or “I am praying for you.” Speak words that restore courage and strengthen faith.

b. Words Can Wound Like a Sword (Proverbs 12:18)

“There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.” — Proverbs 12:18 (KJV)

Harsh words can cut deeply into the heart. Insults, humiliation, ridicule and cruel criticism may leave emotional wounds long after the speaker has forgotten the conversation. Some people struggle with feelings of rejection because of words spoken to them in childhood or during difficult seasons.

God calls us to reject speech that deliberately wounds others. We can correct without humiliating, disagree without insulting and speak the truth without destroying another person's dignity.

c. Words Can Direct the Course of Life (James 3:4-5)

James compares the tongue to a small rudder that directs a large ship. Although the tongue is small, it can influence the direction of a person's life. Words of wisdom can guide someone towards righteousness, while reckless advice can encourage destructive decisions.

Parents, pastors, teachers and leaders must understand the influence their words carry. Speak with care, especially when those who trust you are listening.

d. Words Reveal the Condition of the Heart (Matthew 12:34)

Jesus taught that the mouth speaks from the abundance of the heart. Our words often reveal what we have allowed to grow within us. A heart filled with bitterness frequently produces bitter speech, while a heart filled with God's truth and love produces words that bless others.

When our speech repeatedly becomes corrupt, we should not merely change our vocabulary; we must also allow God to transform our hearts.

Biblical Example: Abigail's Wise Words (1 Samuel 25:23-35)

Abigail spoke wisely to David when he was angry and preparing to take revenge against Nabal. Her respectful and discerning words prevented bloodshed. Her speech demonstrates that wisdom, humility and timely counsel can turn a dangerous situation towards peace.

2. WORDS THAT HEAL THE HEART

Healing words bring comfort to troubled minds, encourage the weak and restore hope to the discouraged. They do not deny the reality of pain; rather, they help people face their difficulties with renewed strength and faith.

Every Christian should desire to become a channel of encouragement. Our mouths should carry words that help people recover, grow and move forward.

a. Words of Comfort Restore Hope (Isaiah 50:4)

“The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary...” — Isaiah 50:4 (KJV)

There is a time for speaking and a time for listening. A wise person recognises when someone needs comfort rather than criticism. A person who is grieving may not need a lecture; they may need compassionate words, patient listening and reassurance that they are not alone.

Ask God to give you the wisdom to recognise weary people and the grace to speak words that strengthen them.

b. Gentle Words Calm Anger (Proverbs 15:1)

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” — Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)

Anger often grows when it is met with more anger. A gentle response can interrupt the cycle of hostility and create room for understanding. Gentleness is not weakness; it is strength under control.

When conversations become heated, resist the temptation to answer immediately. A calm voice and a respectful response may prevent a small disagreement from becoming a major conflict.

c. Words of Wisdom Bring Health (Proverbs 16:24)

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” — Proverbs 16:24 (KJV)

Kind and truthful words can refresh the spirit. Appreciation, sincere compliments, thoughtful advice and expressions of gratitude can make people feel valued. Such words are especially important in marriages, families, churches and friendships.

Let your words communicate respect and appreciation. Do not wait until someone has failed or become discouraged before you speak to them.

d. Words of Grace Minister to the Hearers (Colossians 4:6)

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” — Colossians 4:6 (KJV)

Grace-filled speech reflects the character of Christ. It is truthful without being cruel, firm without being abusive and gracious without compromising righteousness.

Our words should be appropriate to the situation and beneficial to the person listening. Ask yourself: Will this statement help the hearer understand, grow, repent or find encouragement?

Biblical Example: Jesus Restores Peter (John 21:15-17)

Peter denied Jesus three times, but after His resurrection, Jesus spoke with him and gave him an opportunity to affirm his love and receive responsibility again. Jesus did not ignore Peter's failure, but He did not leave him trapped in shame. His words brought restoration and renewed purpose.

We should learn to correct people in ways that open the door to repentance and restoration rather than permanent rejection.

3. WORDS THAT DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND DESTINIES

Destructive speech includes lying, slander, gossip, insults, threats, malicious criticism and words spoken to manipulate or humiliate others. Such speech can damage trust, divide families, weaken churches and discourage people from pursuing their God-given responsibilities.

The fact that something is true does not automatically mean it should be said in any manner or at any time. Truth must be governed by love, wisdom and the desire to do what is right.

a. Lies Destroy Trust (Proverbs 12:22)

“Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.” — Proverbs 12:22 (KJV)

A lie may appear useful for a moment, but it weakens the foundation of trust. When people discover repeated dishonesty, they begin to question even truthful statements.

Believers must be people of integrity. Avoid false reports, exaggerated stories and deliberate misrepresentation. Speak the truth even when dishonesty seems easier.

b. Gossip Creates Division (Proverbs 16:28)

“A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” — Proverbs 16:28 (KJV)

Gossip spreads suspicion and creates unnecessary conflict. It often involves discussing people's private matters without a constructive purpose. Even when gossip begins as a casual conversation, it can damage reputations and destroy friendships.

Before repeating information about someone, ask whether it is true, necessary and appropriate to share. If the purpose is merely to entertain others at someone's expense, remain silent.

c. Insults Destroy Dignity (Matthew 5:22)

Jesus warned against contemptuous speech and the spirit that treats another person as worthless. Insults can reduce meaningful relationships to contests of pride and humiliation.

Do not use another person's weaknesses as a weapon. A spouse should not use private failures to shame their partner, a parent should not continually label a child as useless, and a leader should not humiliate those under their care.

Correction should address behaviour while preserving human dignity.

d. Corrupt Speech Grieves the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:29-30)

Paul connects corrupt communication with his warning not to grieve the Holy Spirit of God. The words we speak matter to God because they reflect whether we are yielding to His transforming work.

A person cannot consistently speak abusively, spread falsehood and stir up division while treating the condition of the tongue as unimportant. We must repent of sinful speech and allow the Spirit to govern our conversations.

Biblical Example: The Spies Discourage Israel (Numbers 13:31-33; 14:1-4)

Ten of the spies emphasised the obstacles in Canaan and discouraged the people with their report. Their words contributed to fear, rebellion and unbelief among the Israelites. Joshua and Caleb, however, encouraged the people to trust God's promise.

This account teaches us that reports and conversations can either strengthen faith or feed fear. We must not hide real challenges, but we must never allow our speech to erase the faithfulness and power of God.

4. HOW TO MAKE YOUR WORDS INSTRUMENTS OF HEALING

God does not merely command us to stop speaking corrupt words; He tells us what should replace them. Ephesians 4:29 instructs believers to speak what is good for edification and what ministers grace to the hearers.

A transformed tongue requires a transformed mind, a guarded heart and daily dependence on the Holy Spirit. We must practise godly speech until it becomes part of our Christian character.

a. Think Before You Speak (James 1:19)

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” — James 1:19 (KJV)

Many painful statements are made because people speak before thinking. Learning to pause can prevent regret. Listen carefully, understand the situation and consider the likely effect of your response.

Before speaking, ask: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Can I say it more graciously?

b. Let the Word of God Fill Your Heart (Psalm 119:11)

“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” — Psalm 119:11 (KJV)

God's Word renews our thinking and provides wisdom for our speech. When Scripture fills our hearts, it becomes easier to respond with truth instead of anger, faith instead of fear and grace instead of bitterness.

Read, meditate on and obey the Word of God. What fills the heart will eventually influence the tongue.

c. Ask the Holy Spirit to Guard Your Mouth (Psalm 141:3)

“Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” — Psalm 141:3 (KJV)

David understood the need for divine help in controlling speech. Some situations provoke us so strongly that human determination alone may not be enough. We need the Holy Spirit to help us exercise self-control.

Pray before difficult conversations. When provoked, ask God for grace to respond wisely rather than react destructively.

d. Speak the Truth in Love (Ephesians 4:15)

“But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.” — Ephesians 4:15 (KJV)

Love does not require us to conceal every wrong or avoid every difficult conversation. It requires us to address issues with the right motive and manner. Truth without love can become harshness, while love without truth can become compromise.

When correction is necessary, focus on the issue rather than attacking the person's identity. Seek reconciliation, not revenge; restoration, not humiliation.

Biblical Example: Nathan Corrects David (2 Samuel 12:1-13)

Nathan confronted King David concerning his sin. He used a carefully presented story to help David recognise the seriousness of his actions, then plainly declared the truth. David acknowledged his sin.

Nathan's example shows that difficult truths can be communicated with wisdom and courage. Faithful speech does not flatter people in their wrongdoing; it helps them confront sin and return to God.

5. BECOMING A CHANNEL OF HEALING IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP

The test of godly speech is not merely how we speak in public worship but how we speak when we are tired, disappointed, misunderstood or angry. Our homes, friendships, workplaces and churches should experience the blessing of words governed by Christ.

Every believer can make a deliberate decision to stop using speech as a weapon and begin using it as an instrument of encouragement, correction, peace and restoration.

a. Speak Life Over Your Family (Proverbs 31:26)

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” — Proverbs 31:26 (KJV)

Families need more than material provision; they also need affirmation, patience and kind communication. Children need correction, but they also need to hear that they are loved and valued. Husbands and wives need honest conversations expressed with respect.

Make your home a place where people can speak honestly without fearing insults or humiliation.

b. Encourage Fellow Believers (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (KJV)

The church becomes stronger when believers encourage one another. Do not allow your conversations to become centres of complaint, suspicion and criticism. Speak words that build faith, strengthen service and promote unity.

If someone is struggling, offer prayer, counsel and practical support instead of spreading their weakness.

c. Correct With Meekness (Galatians 6:1)

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness...” — Galatians 6:1 (KJV)

Spiritual maturity is demonstrated by the desire to restore people who have fallen. Correction should not be an opportunity to display superiority or punish someone emotionally. It should be an act of love that seeks repentance and recovery.

Speak firmly when necessary, but do so with humility and compassion.

d. Give Account for Your Words (Matthew 12:36-37)

Jesus taught that people will give account for every idle word they speak. This warning reminds us that speech has spiritual significance. We must not excuse every harmful statement by saying, “That is just how I talk.”

Take responsibility for your words. Where you have caused injury, apologise sincerely. Where you have spread falsehood, correct it. Where your speech has created division, take practical steps towards peace.

Biblical Example: Barnabas Encourages the Church (Acts 11:22-24)

Barnabas came to Antioch and encouraged the believers to remain faithful to the Lord. Scripture describes him as a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith. His encouragement strengthened the church and contributed to its growth.

Like Barnabas, we should use our words to recognise God's work in others, encourage faithfulness and help people become stronger in the Lord.

CONCLUSION

Words can heal or destroy, build or tear down, encourage or discourage. Ephesians 4:29 calls every believer to reject corrupt communication and speak what builds others up according to their needs. Our tongues must not be controlled by anger, pride, bitterness or the desire to win every argument. Through the Word of God and the help of the Holy Spirit, we can learn to speak truthfully, wisely and graciously.

Make a commitment today to become a healing voice in your family, church and community. Stop using words to humiliate, threaten, slander or discourage people. Where you have spoken wrongly, repent and make amends. Where someone is hurting, offer encouragement. Let your mouth become an instrument of peace, and let every conversation reflect the grace of Jesus Christ.

PRAYER POINTS

1. Father, purify my heart and my words in Jesus name.

2. Lord, deliver me from destructive speech in Jesus name.

3. Holy Spirit, teach me to speak with wisdom in Jesus name.

4. Father, heal every wound caused by my words in Jesus name.

5. Lord, make my tongue an instrument of peace in Jesus name.

6. Father, remove bitterness and anger from my heart in Jesus name.

7. Lord, help me encourage the weak and weary in Jesus name.

8. Father, protect my family from hurtful words in Jesus name.

9. Lord, give me grace to correct others in love in Jesus name.

10. Father, let my words bring healing and life in Jesus name.

PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS

1. Your tongue shall become an instrument of healing and peace.

2. You shall speak wisdom in every difficult situation.

3. Your words shall strengthen the discouraged.

4. Every habit of destructive speech shall lose its hold over you.

5. Your home shall experience peace through gracious communication.

6. You shall speak the truth with love and courage.

7. Your mouth shall not become an instrument of division.

8. You shall receive wisdom to answer every person rightly.

9. Your words shall encourage faith and promote righteousness.

10. You shall minister grace to your hearers, in the mighty name of Jesus.