SUBMITTING ONE TO ANOTHER

SUBMITTING ONE TO ANOTHER

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Ephesians 5:18-21

Key Verse: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” — Ephesians 5:21 (KJV)

Supporting Texts: Philippians 2:3-8; Mark 10:42-45; John 13:12-17; Romans 12:10; Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 5:5-6; Ephesians 4:1-3.

Description: This message teaches that mutual submission is a Spirit-filled expression of humility, love, reverence for God and willingness to serve others according to the example of Jesus Christ.

INTRODUCTION

Submission is an important principle in the Christian life. It involves humility, respect, cooperation and a willingness to consider the needs of others. In a world where many people seek recognition, authority and personal advantage, the Bible calls believers to a different standard: a life in which love is expressed through humility and service. Christian submission is not a sign of inferiority; it is a demonstration of spiritual maturity and Christlike character.

In Ephesians 5:18-21, the Apostle Paul describes some of the results of being filled with the Holy Spirit. Believers speak to one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, sing to the Lord, give thanks always and submit to one another in the fear of God. This sequence shows that Spirit-filled living affects not only our worship but also our relationships. A person cannot claim to be growing spiritually while consistently displaying pride, selfishness, contempt or an unwillingness to consider others.

Submitting one to another does not mean that every person must obey every request made by another, regardless of whether it is right or wrong. Biblical submission operates under the authority of God and the truth of His Word. It calls us to serve others, respect appropriate leadership, listen humbly, avoid selfish ambition and seek peace without compromising righteousness. When believers practise mutual submission, families become healthier, churches become more united and relationships reflect the character of Jesus Christ.

1. UNDERSTANDING THE MEANING OF MUTUAL SUBMISSION

Ephesians 5:21 calls believers to submit to one another in the fear of God. Mutual submission means that we do not approach relationships with an attitude of superiority or selfish entitlement. Instead, we recognise the dignity of others, respect their needs and willingly serve them in love.

This principle does not erase every distinction in responsibility, authority or calling. Rather, it teaches that all believers are accountable to God and must exercise their responsibilities with humility. Whether we lead or follow, we are called to reflect Christ.

a) Submission Is an Expression of Humility (Philippians 2:3)

Paul instructs believers to do nothing through strife or vainglory but, in lowliness of mind, to esteem others better than themselves. This does not mean denying our God-given gifts or pretending that we have no value. It means refusing to treat ourselves as more important than everyone else.

Pride insists on being heard, honoured and obeyed. Humility is willing to listen, learn and recognise the contributions of others. A humble person can possess authority without becoming arrogant and can receive correction without becoming hostile.

Practical Application: Listen carefully when others speak. Be willing to admit mistakes, receive godly correction and appreciate the contributions of people around you.

b) Submission Is Motivated by the Fear of God (Ephesians 5:21)

Paul identifies the fear of God as the foundation of mutual submission. This means that our relationships should be guided by reverence for God and a desire to please Him. We do not show respect only when people can reward us or punish us; we act with integrity because we answer to the Lord.

The fear of God also places limits on human demands. No person has the right to require us to commit sin, participate in wrongdoing or abandon our obedience to God. Reverence for God should make us humble towards people while keeping us faithful to His Word.

Practical Application: Before responding to a disagreement or exercising authority, ask yourself whether your attitude and actions honour God.

c) Submission Is Expressed Through Service (Galatians 5:13)

Paul tells believers that they have been called unto liberty but should use that liberty to serve one another in love. Christian freedom is not permission to be selfish; it is an opportunity to love and serve others.

Service may involve helping a colleague, supporting a family member, assisting a fellow believer or performing an unnoticed task for the benefit of others. Such actions reveal a heart that values people more than personal status.

Practical Application: Look for practical ways to help others without demanding recognition. Serve faithfully in your home, church and community.

d) Submission Requires a Willingness to Listen (James 1:19)

James instructs believers to be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath. Listening is a practical expression of humility because it allows us to understand another person's concerns before passing judgement.

Many conflicts become worse because people listen only to prepare their replies. Mutual submission requires patience, thoughtful communication and a willingness to consider information that may correct our understanding.

Practical Application: In disagreements, allow others to explain their concerns. Ask respectful questions, avoid interrupting and respond thoughtfully rather than reacting in anger.

Biblical Example: Jesus Washing His Disciples' Feet (John 13:3-17)

Jesus knew His identity and authority, yet He took the position of a servant and washed His disciples' feet. He then instructed them to follow His example. His action demonstrates that true greatness is not threatened by humble service. Those who follow Christ should be willing to serve others rather than constantly demanding to be served.

2. JESUS CHRIST: THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SUBMISSION

The clearest example of Christian submission is Jesus Christ. Although He possessed divine authority, He lived in obedience to the Father and demonstrated love through sacrificial service. His life shows that submission is not weakness but a deliberate commitment to fulfil God's will.

Jesus also challenged the world's understanding of greatness. He taught that leadership in God's kingdom must not imitate oppressive rulers but should be expressed through service. Every Christian who desires to exercise influence must learn from His example.

a) Jesus Submitted to the Father's Will (Luke 22:42)

In Gethsemane, Jesus prayed that the Father's will would be done. His prayer revealed the depth of His suffering and the reality of His obedience. He did not pretend that the approaching crucifixion was painless, yet He remained committed to the Father's redemptive purpose.

Jesus' example teaches us that submission to God may require us to surrender personal preferences. It does not mean that we cannot express our concerns honestly in prayer. Rather, we bring our desires before God and remain willing to obey Him.

Practical Application: When God's Word challenges your preferences, choose obedience. Pray honestly, seek His wisdom and trust Him as you follow His direction.

b) Jesus Served Rather Than Demanded Service (Mark 10:45)

Jesus declared that the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give His life as a ransom for many. His mission was marked by service and sacrifice.

This challenges every form of leadership that uses people merely to gain status, money or personal comfort. Christian leaders are called to care for those entrusted to them, while all believers are called to serve one another in love.

Practical Application: Whether you are a pastor, parent, supervisor or ministry worker, use your position to help people grow. Do not measure your importance by how many people serve you.

c) Jesus Obeyed Even Through Suffering (Philippians 2:8)

Paul teaches that Christ humbled Himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Jesus' obedience was costly, and His sacrifice became central to our redemption.

This does not mean that every painful demand made by another person is God's will. Jesus' obedience was directed towards the Father's redemptive purpose. His example calls us to remain faithful to God even when obedience involves sacrifice.

Practical Application: Remain committed to doing what is right, even when it costs you convenience or popularity. Seek biblical wisdom when deciding how to respond to difficult demands.

d) Jesus Used Authority to Build Others (John 13:14-15)

After washing His disciples' feet, Jesus told them that they ought to wash one another's feet. He used His authority to teach, serve and prepare His disciples for a life of ministry.

Godly authority is not given merely for personal advancement. It carries responsibility for the welfare and development of others. Leaders should correct without humiliating, guide without manipulating and serve without seeking applause.

Practical Application: If you hold a position of authority, consider how you can strengthen those under your care. Be approachable, fair and willing to serve.

Biblical Example: Christ's Humiliation and Exaltation (Philippians 2:5-11)

Paul presents Christ as the supreme example of humility and obedience. Jesus humbled Himself in obedience to the Father, and God highly exalted Him. This passage reminds us that humility is not a loss of worth. Our calling is to adopt Christ's attitude and trust God with the outcome.

3. THE IMPORTANCE OF MUTUAL SUBMISSION IN CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS

The Christian faith is lived out in relationships. Our spiritual maturity becomes visible in how we treat our spouses, children, fellow believers, colleagues and neighbours. Mutual submission helps us move beyond selfishness and develop relationships characterised by respect, peace and responsibility.

Submission must not be demanded only from others. Every believer should examine his or her own attitude and ask whether pride, impatience or a desire to control is damaging relationships. A healthy Christian community is built when people willingly practise humility and love.

a) Submission Promotes Unity in the Church (Ephesians 4:1-3)

Paul urges believers to walk worthy of their calling with humility, meekness, longsuffering and forbearance in love. He also calls them to endeavour to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Unity does not require every believer to have identical opinions or gifts. It requires a shared commitment to Christ, biblical truth and loving conduct. Mutual submission helps members cooperate even when they have different perspectives.

Practical Application: Avoid unnecessary competition, gossip and division. Respect the gifts of others, work cooperatively and seek peaceful solutions to disagreements.

b) Submission Strengthens Marriage and Family Life (Ephesians 5:21-25)

Paul introduces his teaching on family relationships with the call to submit to one another in the fear of God. He then gives specific instructions to wives and husbands, including the command for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it.

The wider passage must be read carefully and responsibly. Christian marriage is not a licence for domination, cruelty or abuse. Husbands are called to sacrificial love, and the entire relationship must be shaped by reverence for Christ. Mutual care, faithfulness, respect and responsible communication help a marriage reflect God's purposes.

Practical Application: Spouses should listen to one another, share responsibilities fairly, communicate respectfully and seek godly counsel when necessary. No one should use Scripture to justify abuse or coercion.

c) Submission Encourages Respect for Godly Leadership (Hebrews 13:17)

Hebrews instructs believers to respond to their leaders in a manner that enables them to serve with joy. The verse recognises that leaders carry responsibility for the spiritual care of those entrusted to them.

Respect for leadership does not mean that leaders are infallible or that their instructions must be obeyed when they contradict God's Word. Leaders themselves remain accountable to Scripture and should exercise authority with integrity, humility and concern for others.

Practical Application: Support godly leadership, cooperate with sound direction and raise concerns respectfully. Leaders should remain teachable and accountable rather than using their positions to control people.

d) Submission Promotes Peace and Mutual Respect (Romans 12:10)

Paul instructs believers to be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love and to prefer one another in honour. This attitude challenges selfish competition and encourages us to recognise the worth of others.

Many disputes arise when everyone insists on being first, right or recognised. Mutual submission helps believers pursue peace by considering the needs of others while remaining faithful to truth and righteousness.

Practical Application: Give others credit, apologise when you are wrong and seek reconciliation where possible. Do not sacrifice truth, but express it with humility and love.

Biblical Example: The Jerusalem Church (Acts 6:1-7)

When a complaint arose about the distribution of food to widows, the apostles listened to the concern and organised a practical response. The solution involved recognising a real problem, sharing responsibility and protecting the ministry of the Word. This example shows how humble listening and responsible cooperation can help preserve unity and address needs within the Church.

4. HOW TO PRACTISE MUTUAL SUBMISSION DAILY

Understanding submission is not enough; it must be demonstrated through daily decisions. We practise it when we choose humility over pride, service over selfishness, patience over anger and truth over manipulation.

Mutual submission requires spiritual growth and the help of the Holy Spirit. It also requires discernment, because humility does not mean tolerating sin or surrendering every personal boundary. Biblical submission seeks to honour God while treating people with dignity.

a) Put Away Pride and Selfish Ambition (Philippians 2:3-4)

Paul warns against selfish ambition and vainglory, instructing believers to consider the interests of others as well as their own. This principle challenges the tendency to view every relationship as a competition.

Humility allows us to appreciate other people's gifts and achievements without feeling threatened. It also helps us receive correction and acknowledge when another person's idea or contribution is valuable.

Practical Application: Examine your motives before making decisions. Ask whether you are seeking the good of others or merely trying to protect your pride and personal advantage.

b) Be Willing to Forgive and Reconcile (Colossians 3:12-13)

Paul instructs believers to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and longsuffering, forbearing and forgiving one another. Forgiveness is an important expression of humility because it releases the desire for personal revenge.

Forgiveness does not always mean that trust is immediately restored or that harmful behaviour should be ignored. Reconciliation may require repentance, accountability and appropriate boundaries. Nevertheless, Christians should resist bitterness and pursue peace wherever it is safe and possible.

Practical Application: Ask God to help you release resentment. Where appropriate, initiate a respectful conversation and seek reconciliation without excusing wrongdoing.

c) Serve Others With Love (Galatians 5:13)

Paul calls believers to serve one another through love. This form of service is voluntary, sincere and directed towards the good of others. It is not a means of gaining control or manipulating people into owing us something.

Small acts of service often reveal genuine humility: helping someone complete a task, visiting a person in need, encouraging a struggling believer or sharing resources responsibly.

Practical Application: Choose one practical way to serve someone each day. Do it sincerely, without demanding praise or expecting an immediate reward.

d) Walk in the Power of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)

The fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. These qualities enable believers to respond to others with humility and self-control.

Human determination alone may not be sufficient to overcome deeply rooted pride, anger or selfishness. As we yield to the Holy Spirit, He develops Christlike character within us. This spiritual growth becomes visible in the way we speak, lead, serve and resolve conflict.

Practical Application: Pray daily for the Holy Spirit to develop His fruit in you. When conflict arises, pause, seek God's wisdom and respond in a way that reflects Christ.

Biblical Example: Barnabas and Saul (Acts 9:26-28; 11:22-26)

Barnabas played an important role in helping the Jerusalem believers receive Saul after his conversion, and later he brought Saul into the work at Antioch. His actions demonstrate the value of recognising another person's calling and creating opportunities for ministry. Mutual submission includes making room for others to grow and serve rather than treating every opportunity as a personal possession.

CONCLUSION

Submitting one to another in the fear of God is a vital expression of Spirit-filled living. It calls believers to humility, service, respect, cooperation and sincere concern for others. Jesus Christ is our perfect example because He submitted to the Father's will, served others sacrificially and used His authority to accomplish God's purpose. When we practise mutual submission, our relationships become healthier, our churches grow in unity and our conduct reflects the character of Christ.

Make a deliberate decision to practise humility in your home, church, workplace and community. Listen before speaking, serve without seeking applause, forgive where possible and respect godly leadership while remaining faithful to Scripture. Never use submission to justify abuse, wrongdoing or the violation of conscience. Instead, allow the Holy Spirit to shape your attitude so that you can serve others in love and honour God in all your relationships.

PRAYER POINTS

1. Father, deliver me from pride and selfish ambition, in Jesus name.

2. Lord, give me the humility of Jesus Christ, in Jesus name.

3. Father, teach me to serve others sincerely in love, in Jesus name.

4. Lord, help me listen with patience and understanding, in Jesus name.

5. Father, make me an instrument of unity in Your Church, in Jesus name.

6. Lord, strengthen love, peace and respect in my family, in Jesus name.

7. Father, give me wisdom to exercise authority with humility, in Jesus name.

8. Lord, help me forgive and pursue peace with others, in Jesus name.

9. Holy Spirit, develop the fruit of Christ in my life, in Jesus name.

10. Father, let my relationships bring glory to Your name, in Jesus name.

PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS

1. You shall grow in humility and reflect the character of Jesus Christ.

2. You shall receive grace to serve others with love and sincerity.

3. You shall overcome pride, selfish ambition and the desire for unhealthy control.

4. You shall become a builder of unity and peace in your church and family.

5. You shall have wisdom to lead responsibly and follow godly direction.

6. You shall grow in patience, understanding and respectful communication.

7. You shall receive grace to forgive and pursue reconciliation wisely.

8. Your relationships shall increasingly reflect love, truth and mutual respect.

9. The Holy Spirit shall strengthen you to live with Christlike humility.

10. You shall honour God through your attitude, service and relationships, in the mighty name of Jesus.