HONOUR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER

HONOUR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Ephesians 6:1-3

Key Verse: “Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)” — Ephesians 6:2 (KJV)

Supporting Texts: Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Proverbs 1:8-9; Proverbs 23:22-25; Matthew 15:4-6; Mark 7:9-13; Colossians 3:20; 1 Timothy 5:4.

Description: This message teaches the biblical meaning, importance and blessings of honouring one's father and mother through respect, obedience, gratitude, care and godly conduct.

INTRODUCTION

Honouring one's father and mother is one of God's fundamental commandments for human relationships. In Exodus 20:12, God instructed the Israelites to honour their parents, and in Ephesians 6:2, the Apostle Paul repeated this commandment to the Christian church. This demonstrates that honouring parents is not merely a cultural tradition but a divine instruction that remains relevant to Christian living. God recognises the important role parents play in nurturing, protecting, teaching and preparing children for life.

Honour goes beyond greeting one's parents politely or obeying them when it is convenient. It involves an attitude of respect, gratitude, consideration and appropriate care. It means recognising the position God has given parents, appreciating their sacrifices and treating them with dignity. Although parents are human and may make mistakes, their imperfections do not give children permission to become disrespectful, abusive or ungrateful. At the same time, biblical honour does not require anyone to participate in sin, tolerate abuse or remain in danger.

In a generation where disrespect, neglect and family conflicts are increasingly visible, the Church must teach the importance of godly family relationships. Children should learn to honour their parents while they are young, and adults should continue to demonstrate respect and care as their parents grow older. God's commandment provides a foundation for healthy families, responsible living and the preservation of godly values across generations.

1. HONOURING PARENTS IS A COMMANDMENT FROM GOD

The command to honour father and mother originated with God Himself. It is not an instruction that depends entirely on a parent's wealth, social position, educational achievement or personal perfection. God commands children to recognise and respect their parents because of the responsibility and relationship He has established within the family.

When Paul wrote to the Ephesian church, he reminded believers that honouring parents was a commandment with a promise. This teaches us that family relationships matter to God and that our treatment of our parents is part of our spiritual responsibility.

a) God Personally Commanded It (Exodus 20:12)

God declared, “Honour thy father and thy mother.” This commandment was given among the Ten Commandments, showing the seriousness with which God regards the family. Honouring parents is not an optional act of kindness reserved for days when we feel happy with them. It is a moral responsibility rooted in God's authority.

A Christian cannot claim to love God while deliberately cultivating contempt, cruelty or ingratitude towards parents. Our relationship with God should influence how we treat those who raised us and those who have parental responsibility over us.

Practical Application: Make a deliberate decision to treat your father and mother with respect in your speech, attitude and conduct, even when you disagree with them.

b) It Is Part of Righteous Living (Ephesians 6:1-2)

Paul places the command to honour parents within his instructions on Christian family life. This shows that godliness must be demonstrated at home and not only in church. A person may be active in ministry, prayer and religious activities but still need to grow in the way he or she treats family members.

True Christian maturity is reflected in everyday relationships. Respecting parents is one practical way to demonstrate that God's Word governs our conduct.

Practical Application: Let your Christianity be evident in your home. Speak respectfully to your parents, listen when they offer sound counsel and avoid humiliating them before other people.

c) Honour Is Required Even When Parents Are Imperfect (Colossians 3:20)

Parents are not infallible. Some make poor decisions, communicate harshly or fail to meet their children's expectations. Nevertheless, the biblical command to honour parents does not depend upon their perfection. We can acknowledge their mistakes without becoming hateful or disrespectful.

Honour, however, does not mean approving of wrongdoing. If a parent gives an instruction that contradicts God's Word, the believer must obey God. Where there is abuse or danger, seeking protection and appropriate assistance is consistent with wisdom and does not amount to sinful dishonour.

Practical Application: Learn to disagree respectfully. Maintain godly boundaries where necessary, seek wise counsel in difficult situations and refuse to answer wrongdoing with hatred or revenge.

d) Honour Must Be Practised Willingly (Proverbs 1:8-9)

Proverbs encourages children to listen to the instruction of their father and not forsake the teaching of their mother. This presents parental instruction as something valuable that can guide a child's life. Honour should therefore be more than outward compliance; it should include a willingness to consider wise counsel.

Not every parental opinion will be correct, but children should develop the humility to listen, evaluate advice carefully and learn from the experience of older people.

Practical Application: Do not dismiss your parents' advice simply because it differs from your preference. Listen carefully, ask respectful questions and weigh their counsel against God's Word.

Biblical Example: Jesus Christ (Luke 2:51-52)

Jesus returned to Nazareth with Mary and Joseph and was subject to them. Though He was the Son of God, He demonstrated humility within His earthly family. His example shows that spiritual greatness is not an excuse for disrespecting one's parents.

2. HONOUR YOUR PARENTS THROUGH RESPECTFUL SPEECH AND CONDUCT

One of the clearest ways to honour parents is through the way we speak and behave towards them. Words can strengthen relationships or cause deep wounds. A disrespectful response may take only a few seconds to utter, yet its emotional consequences can remain for years.

The Bible teaches that our words should be gracious and that we should treat others with dignity. Children should therefore avoid insults, mockery, contempt and unnecessary arguments with their parents. Honour requires self-control, humility and the willingness to communicate disagreements appropriately.

a) Speak to Your Parents with Respect (Proverbs 15:1)

Proverbs 15:1 teaches that a soft answer turns away wrath, while grievous words stir up anger. This principle is particularly important in family relationships. When a parent is upset, a disrespectful response can intensify the disagreement, while a calm and respectful answer can create an opportunity for understanding.

Respectful speech does not mean hiding the truth. It means expressing the truth without unnecessary cruelty or contempt.

Practical Application: Avoid shouting at your parents, insulting them or using words intended to hurt them. When disagreements arise, speak calmly and choose your words carefully.

b) Listen When Your Parents Speak (Proverbs 23:22)

The Bible says, “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” Listening is a practical expression of honour. Parents may possess experience that their children have not yet acquired, and their advice may help prevent costly mistakes.

As parents grow older, they may repeat stories, need more time to express themselves or require assistance with ordinary matters. Patience during such moments is a meaningful expression of love.

Practical Application: Give your parents your attention when they speak. Avoid unnecessary interruptions, listen patiently and do not make them feel that their words or presence are a burden.

c) Do Not Ridicule or Humiliate Your Parents (Proverbs 30:17)

Scripture warns against the contemptuous treatment of parents. Mockery, public embarrassment and deliberate humiliation contradict the spirit of honour. Even when parents have weaknesses, children should not use those weaknesses as an opportunity to shame them.

This is especially important when parents have limited education, financial difficulties, physical limitations or unfamiliarity with modern technology. Their circumstances should not become a reason for contempt.

Practical Application: Protect your parents' dignity. Do not ridicule their limitations, expose their private struggles unnecessarily or speak about them in a degrading manner.

d) Demonstrate Honour in Public and Private (1 Timothy 5:4)

The Apostle Paul teaches that children and grandchildren should learn to show piety at home and repay their parents. This demonstrates that honour is not merely a public performance. It must be seen in ordinary, private interactions.

A person who praises parents publicly but neglects, insults or mistreats them privately has not fully understood the meaning of honour.

Practical Application: Treat your parents respectfully when nobody is watching. Let your private behaviour agree with the respect you express publicly.

Biblical Example: Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16-17)

Ruth demonstrated extraordinary loyalty and commitment to Naomi during a season of loss and uncertainty. Although Naomi was her mother-in-law, Ruth treated her with deep consideration and refused to abandon her. Their relationship illustrates the value of loyalty, kindness and faithful care within the family.

3. HONOUR YOUR PARENTS THROUGH OBEDIENCE AND GODLY COUNSEL

Honour is demonstrated not only by words but also by the way children respond to appropriate parental instruction. Parents are entrusted with the responsibility of guiding their children towards maturity. When children listen to sound counsel, they can benefit from the wisdom, experience and concern of those who have cared for them.

Biblical obedience must be understood within the authority of God. Children should obey reasonable and godly parental instructions, but no parent has the right to require a child to commit sin or submit to abuse. Christian obedience is never a command to abandon God's truth or personal safety.

a) Obey Godly Instructions (Ephesians 6:1)

Paul writes, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” Obedience teaches discipline, responsibility and respect for appropriate authority. Children who learn to receive instruction are often better prepared to handle responsibilities in education, employment, relationships and society.

Obedience also requires an attitude of willingness. A child who obeys outwardly while constantly expressing contempt may need to develop a more respectful heart.

Practical Application: Follow reasonable instructions without unnecessary delay or argument. If you do not understand a rule, ask for clarification respectfully rather than responding with rebellion.

b) Receive Correction with Humility (Proverbs 15:5)

Proverbs teaches that a fool despises a father's instruction, while the person who receives correction demonstrates prudence. Correction can be uncomfortable, but it may reveal an area of weakness that needs attention.

A wise child does not assume that every correction is an attack. Instead, he or she considers whether there is truth in the instruction and makes appropriate changes.

Practical Application: When corrected, listen before defending yourself. Acknowledge wrongdoing where necessary and take practical steps to improve your conduct.

c) Learn from the Experience of Your Parents (Proverbs 4:1-4)

Proverbs records a father teaching his children to listen and acquire understanding. Parents may have experienced consequences that their children have not yet encountered. Their experiences can provide valuable lessons about relationships, finances, work, integrity and the dangers of unwise decisions.

Although experience does not make every parent right about everything, it can offer insight that younger people should not dismiss carelessly.

Practical Application: Ask your parents about lessons they have learnt in life. Consider their advice prayerfully and compare it with Scripture before making important decisions.

d) Put God's Authority Above Every Human Instruction (Acts 5:29)

Peter declared that believers must obey God rather than men when human commands conflict with God's will. This principle establishes an important boundary around parental authority. A child must not be forced to lie, steal, engage in sexual wrongdoing or participate in any other sinful act merely because a parent demands it.

In situations involving abuse, exploitation or danger, children should seek help from trustworthy adults and appropriate authorities. Honouring parents never requires remaining silent about serious harm.

Practical Application: Follow godly parental guidance, but do not participate in sin. If an instruction is harmful or dangerous, seek wise and safe assistance while maintaining a respectful attitude wherever possible.

Biblical Example: Joseph (Genesis 37:13-14)

Joseph responded to his father's instruction to go and see how his brothers were doing. His willingness to carry out the assignment demonstrated attentiveness to parental direction. Although Joseph later experienced painful events, his response illustrates the importance of taking appropriate instructions seriously.

4. HONOUR YOUR PARENTS THROUGH GRATITUDE AND PRACTICAL CARE

Many parents make sacrifices that children do not fully understand until they become adults themselves. They may labour for years to provide food, education, shelter, protection and spiritual instruction. Some parents sacrifice personal comfort so that their children can have opportunities they never enjoyed.

Honour therefore involves more than words of appreciation. It includes recognising sacrifices, expressing gratitude and providing appropriate care when parents need assistance. Children should not wait until a funeral to speak kindly about their parents or acknowledge their contribution to their lives.

a) Remember the Sacrifices of Your Parents (Proverbs 23:22)

The Bible calls children to listen to their fathers and not despise their mothers when they grow old. This reminds us that parental relationships continue to matter through changing seasons of life. The parent who once carried a child may eventually need help from that same child.

Gratitude grows when we reflect on the sacrifices made for us. Even where parents were unable to provide everything we desired, we can acknowledge what they did provide without denying genuine pain or hardship.

Practical Application: Take time to thank your parents for the sacrifices they made. Express appreciation through words, visits, messages and thoughtful acts of kindness.

b) Care for Your Parents in Their Time of Need (1 Timothy 5:4)

Paul teaches that children and grandchildren should learn to show care within their own families and repay their parents and grandparents. This highlights the practical responsibility of supporting parents when they become vulnerable.

Such support may involve companionship, assistance with daily activities, helping them access medical care, providing financial help within one's means or ensuring that they are treated with dignity. The specific needs will differ from family to family.

Practical Application: Find out what your parents genuinely need and help where you reasonably can. Do not assume that money alone is sufficient; time, attention and companionship are also valuable.

c) Do Not Neglect Your Parents for Material Gain (Mark 7:9-13)

Jesus rebuked religious practices that allowed people to use religious claims as an excuse to avoid their responsibilities towards their parents. His teaching exposes the danger of appearing spiritual while neglecting practical love.

Ministry, business, education and personal advancement are important, but they should not become excuses for unnecessary neglect. Honour requires us to consider how our decisions affect the people entrusted to our care.

Practical Application: Review your schedule and priorities. Make reasonable time to communicate with your parents, attend to their concerns and fulfil appropriate responsibilities towards them.

d) Honour Your Parents While You Still Have the Opportunity (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

Life is uncertain, and opportunities to show love do not remain open indefinitely. Some people regret the harsh words they spoke or the kindness they withheld after their parents have passed away. Wisdom teaches us to express gratitude while we still have the opportunity.

Honouring parents today may involve a simple phone call, a visit, a sincere apology, a practical gift or a conversation that restores a strained relationship.

Practical Application: If your parents are alive, take a practical step towards showing honour today. Where reconciliation is safe and appropriate, do not allow unnecessary pride to prevent you from making peace.

Biblical Example: Jesus Christ (John 19:26-27)

Even while suffering on the cross, Jesus made provision for His mother by entrusting her care to the beloved disciple. His action demonstrates that concern for family responsibilities can remain important even during personal suffering. Jesus' example challenges believers to treat parental care as a serious responsibility.

5. UNDERSTAND THE PROMISE AND BLESSING CONNECTED WITH HONOUR

Ephesians 6:2 describes honouring father and mother as the first commandment with promise. In the original commandment, God connected honouring parents with living long in the land He was giving Israel. Paul repeats this principle in Ephesians 6:3, emphasising well-being and long life.

This promise should not be interpreted as a mechanical guarantee that every obedient child will experience a trouble-free life or reach a particular age. Scripture contains faithful people who suffered despite their obedience. Rather, the commandment reveals God's good design for family life and the wisdom of living in a way that values parental guidance, responsibility and godly relationships.

a) Honour Is Connected with Well-Being (Ephesians 6:2-3)

Paul says that it may be well with those who honour their parents. Respectful family relationships can provide important support, guidance and stability. Listening to wise counsel may also help children avoid destructive decisions and develop healthier patterns of living.

This does not mean that honour guarantees material prosperity or freedom from every hardship. It means that God's instruction provides a wise pattern for life and relationships.

Practical Application: Choose the path of respect, humility and godly counsel. Avoid unnecessary conflict and make decisions that support healthy relationships and responsible living.

b) Honour Is Associated with Long Life (Exodus 20:12)

God's commandment connects honouring parents with the promise of long life in the land He was giving Israel. Respect for parental instruction can help children learn caution, self-control and responsibility, all of which may protect them from avoidable dangers.

Nevertheless, the promise must not be used to blame those who experience tragedy or to claim that every early death results from dishonouring parents. God's Word should be handled with care, truth and compassion.

Practical Application: Receive wise counsel about safety, health, relationships and life decisions. Practise self-control and avoid reckless conduct that can place your life or the lives of others in danger.

c) Honour Can Bring Peace to Family Relationships (Colossians 3:20)

Godly honour encourages humility and reduces unnecessary hostility. When children communicate respectfully and parents respond with fairness, families have better opportunities to resolve disagreements and strengthen trust.

Peace does not mean that all differences disappear. It means that family members learn to address differences without contempt, cruelty or deliberate harm.

Practical Application: Be a peacemaker in your family. Refuse to fuel arguments, speak truthfully and seek constructive solutions when misunderstandings occur.

d) Honour Establishes a Godly Legacy (Psalm 78:4-7)

The psalmist describes the responsibility of passing God's works and commandments to the next generation. When children learn to honour their parents, they also learn values that can influence how they treat their own children and older people in the future.

A godly legacy is not built by wealth alone. It is built through faith, integrity, compassion, responsible living and the consistent practice of God's Word.

Practical Application: Demonstrate the kind of respect you desire your children to show you. Teach them gratitude, care for older people and the importance of treating every person with dignity.

Biblical Example: Timothy (2 Timothy 1:5; 3:14-15)

Timothy's sincere faith was nurtured through the influence of his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice. Their investment in his spiritual development helped prepare him for a life of Christian service. Their example reminds us that family influence can shape faith and character across generations.

CONCLUSION

Honouring your father and mother is a commandment from God and a practical expression of Christian character. It involves respectful speech, appropriate obedience, gratitude, humility and responsible care. God does not command us to pretend that parents are perfect, nor does He require us to participate in wrongdoing or remain in dangerous situations. He calls us to maintain a godly attitude while pursuing truth, wisdom and safety. Whether we are young or old, we can honour our parents through our words, decisions and actions.

Do not postpone honour until your parents are old, sick or gone. If they are alive, express gratitude, communicate respectfully and offer appropriate help. If there are painful issues in the relationship, seek godly counsel and pursue reconciliation where it is safe and appropriate. Above all, allow the Word of God to guide your family relationships. May the Lord give us hearts that honour our parents, wisdom to handle difficult family situations and grace to establish a legacy of love and godliness for the next generation.

PRAYER POINTS

1. Father, give me a heart that honours my father and mother, in Jesus name.

2. Lord, deliver me from pride, disrespect and ingratitude, in Jesus name.

3. Father, help me to receive godly counsel with humility, in Jesus name.

4. Lord, heal painful relationships between parents and children, in Jesus name.

5. Father, give me wisdom to honour my parents while walking in Your truth, in Jesus name.

6. Lord, teach me to appreciate the sacrifices made for my life, in Jesus name.

7. Father, strengthen me to care for my parents according to my ability, in Jesus name.

8. Lord, remove bitterness and unforgiveness from my heart, in Jesus name.

9. Father, help our family to live in peace, love and mutual respect, in Jesus name.

10. Lord, help me to establish a legacy of honour and godliness for future generations, in Jesus name.

PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS

1. You shall grow in wisdom, humility and godly character.

2. You shall honour your parents with sincerity and understanding.

3. You shall receive grace to maintain peace and respect in your family.

4. You shall be delivered from destructive patterns of bitterness and disrespect.

5. You shall have wisdom to make decisions that honour God and preserve your dignity.

6. You shall become a source of comfort and encouragement to your parents.

7. You shall receive grace to forgive, heal and pursue reconciliation where it is safe and right.

8. You shall build relationships marked by love, truth and mutual respect.

9. You shall pass godly values to the next generation.

10. Your life shall reflect the wisdom of God's Word and bring honour to His name, in the mighty name of Jesus.