PUTTING AWAY WRATH AND ANGER

PUTTING AWAY WRATH AND ANGER

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Ephesians 4:31

Key Verse: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.” — Ephesians 4:31 (KJV)

Supporting Texts: James 1:19-20; Proverbs 15:1; Proverbs 16:32; Ecclesiastes 7:9; Colossians 3:8; Matthew 5:21-24; Romans 12:19-21; Galatians 5:22-23.

Description: This message teaches believers how to overcome uncontrolled wrath and anger through the Word of God, the power of the Holy Spirit, forgiveness, and godly self-control.

INTRODUCTION

Wrath and anger are powerful emotions that can influence our thoughts, words, decisions, relationships, and spiritual lives. Anger may arise when we are offended, disappointed, insulted, cheated, or treated unjustly. However, when anger is allowed to control the heart, it can lead to destructive words, broken relationships, violence, bitterness, and regrettable actions. God does not want His children to be ruled by these emotions; He wants us to be governed by His Spirit.

In Ephesians 4:31, Apostle Paul commands believers to put away bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice. This instruction appears in a passage that teaches Christians how to live as new people in Christ. We cannot claim to have put on the new man while deliberately holding on to attitudes that destroy peace, unity, and godly relationships. The Christian life requires a daily decision to reject sinful behaviour and allow the character of Christ to be formed in us.

Putting away wrath and anger does not mean pretending that wrongdoing never happened or refusing to confront injustice. Rather, it means refusing to allow anger to become sinful, controlling, or destructive. We must learn to respond to offences with wisdom, speak with grace, correct with love, forgive sincerely, and trust God to help us handle difficult situations. Through the help of the Holy Spirit, we can overcome destructive anger and become instruments of peace.

1. UNDERSTAND THE DANGER OF UNCONTROLLED WRATH AND ANGER

Anger becomes dangerous when it is allowed to rule the heart instead of being brought under the control of God. A person may begin with a small irritation but end up making decisions that damage a family, destroy a friendship, divide a church, or ruin a promising future. Many people have said words they could never withdraw and taken actions they later regretted because they failed to control their anger.

The Bible warns us not to treat anger as a harmless emotion. We must recognise its potential to become a doorway to sin and destruction. A believer who desires to grow spiritually must learn to recognise anger early and deal with it before it becomes a destructive force.

a) Uncontrolled Anger Leads to Sin (James 1:19-20)

James 1:19-20 teaches that every person should be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath, because the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Human anger often pushes people to speak before thinking, react before understanding, and condemn before hearing the other side. In such moments, we may exaggerate an offence, insult someone, expose private matters, or make threats that do not reflect the character of Christ.

God is not saying that every feeling of anger automatically makes a person sinful. Rather, He warns us against anger that produces unrighteous behaviour. When anger begins to control our speech and actions, we must stop, pray, and submit our response to God.

Before you respond to an offence, ask yourself: Will my response honour God? Will these words bring correction or merely inflict pain? Will this action solve the problem or make it worse? These questions can help you avoid decisions that you may later regret.

b) Anger Can Destroy Relationships (Proverbs 15:1)

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

Harsh words can turn a minor disagreement into a major conflict. A husband and wife may begin by discussing a simple misunderstanding but end up attacking each other's character. Parents may correct their children in anger and leave wounds that remain in their hearts for years. Church members may allow disagreements to become divisions because nobody is willing to humble themselves.

The person who controls their tongue during a heated moment often prevents a small problem from becoming a serious crisis. A gentle answer does not mean weakness; it demonstrates strength under control.

When you are angry, lower your voice rather than raising it. Address the issue without attacking the person's dignity. You may need to correct someone firmly, but correction should not become an opportunity to humiliate them.

c) Anger Can Give the Devil an Opportunity (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Ephesians 4:26–27 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.”

Paul connects the handling of anger with the instruction not to give the devil an opportunity. Unresolved anger can create room for resentment, suspicion, unforgiveness, retaliation, and division.

When an offence is repeatedly remembered and emotionally rehearsed, the heart can become increasingly hardened. A person may begin to interpret every action of the offender negatively and reject every opportunity for reconciliation.

This is why we must deal with anger promptly and biblically. If a conversation is necessary, seek a suitable time to discuss the matter calmly. If you need counsel, seek godly guidance. If you have sinned through your reaction, confess it and seek to make things right. Do not allow yesterday's offence to become today's spiritual bondage.

d) Anger Can Damage Your Destiny (Proverbs 16:32)

Proverbs 16:32 teaches that a person who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and one who rules their spirit is better than one who captures a city.

Many opportunities have been lost because people could not control their temper. Someone may lose a job through abusive speech, damage a ministry through quarrels, or destroy a valuable relationship through repeated angry reactions.

Spiritual gifts, intelligence, education, and connections are valuable, but character is also essential. A person who cannot govern their emotions may struggle to maintain the blessings entrusted to them.

Ask God to help you develop the discipline to pause before responding, listen before judging, and pray before making important decisions. Self-control is not a minor virtue; it is an essential part of Christian maturity.

Biblical Example: Moses Striking the Rock (Numbers 20:7-12)

God instructed Moses to speak to the rock, but Moses, in anger and frustration with the people, struck the rock twice. God still provided water, but Moses was held accountable for failing to honour Him before the people. This incident demonstrates that even a great leader can make a serious mistake when frustration influences obedience. We must never allow anger to make us handle God's instructions carelessly.

2. IDENTIFY AND CONFRONT THE ROOTS OF YOUR ANGER

To put away wrath and anger, we must examine what produces them. Sometimes anger is triggered by an immediate offence, but sometimes it grows from deeper issues such as pride, fear, disappointment, jealousy, exhaustion, or unresolved pain. If we deal only with the outward reaction and ignore the inward condition, the same pattern may return.

God desires truth in our inward parts. He wants us to acknowledge our weaknesses and invite Him to transform our hearts. Instead of always blaming other people for our anger, we should ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the attitudes and wounds that need His healing and correction.

a) Deal With Pride and the Desire to Always Be Right (Proverbs 13:10)

Proverbs 13:10 teaches that pride leads to contention, while wisdom is found among those who receive counsel.

Some people become angry whenever they are corrected, challenged, contradicted, or denied what they want. They interpret disagreement as disrespect and correction as an attack on their worth.

Pride makes it difficult to admit mistakes or apologise. It encourages a person to defend themselves even when they are wrong. Such an attitude creates constant conflict because every disagreement becomes a battle for superiority.

Humility helps us recognise that we do not know everything and that we can learn from others. You can disagree without becoming hostile. You can accept correction without feeling worthless. You can apologise without losing your dignity. Ask God to help you value truth more than winning arguments.

b) Deal With Unresolved Hurt and Disappointment (Psalm 147:3)

Psalm 147:3 says, “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”

Sometimes anger is the outward expression of an inward wound. A person who has been betrayed, rejected, humiliated, or repeatedly disappointed may become defensive and easily provoked.

Although the pain may be genuine, allowing it to control every response can cause further harm. The person who wounded you may no longer be present, yet the pain may continue to influence your relationship with others.

Bring your hurt honestly before God. Seek wise, trusted counsel when necessary, and allow yourself to process the experience in a healthy way. Healing does not require you to deny what happened. It means refusing to let the past dictate the character of your future.

c) Reject Jealousy, Envy, and Comparison (James 3:14-16)

James 3:14–16 warns against bitter envy and selfish ambition, explaining that these attitudes produce disorder and evil practices.

Jealousy can cause people to become angry when others are praised, promoted, blessed, or recognised. Instead of celebrating another person's progress, they interpret it as a personal disadvantage.

Comparison can also create resentment in families, workplaces, and churches. People begin to compete for attention, position, and recognition, allowing envy to poison their relationships.

Learn to thank God for the blessings of others without despising your own journey. Someone else's promotion does not mean that God has forgotten you. Celebrate genuine success, remain faithful in your assignment, and trust God's timing for your life.

d) Recognise Physical and Emotional Triggers (Proverbs 14:29)

Proverbs 14:29 teaches that a person who is slow to anger has great understanding, while one who is hasty in spirit exalts folly.

Lack of rest, excessive pressure, hunger, exhaustion, and continuous stress can make it more difficult to respond wisely. These conditions do not excuse sinful behaviour, but recognising them can help us prevent unnecessary outbursts.

Learn to identify the situations in which you are most likely to lose your temper. You may need to rest, take a brief pause, postpone a difficult discussion, or seek help with overwhelming responsibilities.

Spiritual maturity includes practical wisdom. Pray for grace, but also develop habits that support wise decisions. When emotions rise, pause, breathe, listen, and give yourself time to respond in a godly manner.

Biblical Example: Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:3-8)

Cain became angry when God regarded Abel and his offering favourably. God warned Cain that sin was crouching at the door and that he needed to master it. Instead of responding to God's warning, Cain allowed his anger to grow until he killed his brother. His story teaches us to confront destructive emotions early, before they develop into actions that bring lasting consequences.

3. LEARN TO CONTROL ANGER THROUGH THE WORD OF GOD

God does not command us to put away wrath and anger without providing guidance for how to live differently. His Word renews our minds, corrects our attitudes, and teaches us how to respond when people offend us. As we apply Scripture consistently, we develop new patterns of thought and behaviour.

Self-control is not simply a matter of pretending to be calm while resentment continues to grow inside. It involves bringing our thoughts, motives, speech, and actions under the authority of Christ. We must allow the Word of God to shape not only what we believe but also how we treat people.

a) Be Slow to Speak and Quick to Listen (James 1:19)

James 1:19 instructs us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.

Many conflicts become worse because people listen only to prepare their reply. They interrupt, assume motives, and react to what they think the other person means rather than understanding what was actually said.

Listening does not mean that you must agree with everything you hear. It means giving the other person a fair opportunity to explain themselves before reaching a conclusion.

When a disagreement arises, allow the other person to finish speaking. Ask questions if something is unclear. Repeat the main point in your own words to ensure that you have understood correctly. Such simple practices can prevent many unnecessary arguments.

b) Think Before You Respond (Proverbs 15:28)

Proverbs 15:28 teaches that the heart of the righteous studies how to answer.

You are not required to respond to every provocation immediately. Sometimes the wisest response is to remain silent until your emotions settle. Silence used for self-control is different from silence intended to punish or manipulate another person.

Before speaking, consider the likely effect of your words. Are they truthful? Are they necessary? Are they expressed in a manner that reflects Christ? Can the issue be addressed more constructively at another time?

Do not allow someone else's anger to determine your behaviour. You are responsible to God for your own response, even when another person has acted wrongly.

c) Use Gentle Words Without Compromising Truth (Proverbs 15:1)

A gentle answer can reduce tension and make constructive conversation possible. It communicates that you are interested in resolving the issue rather than defeating the other person.

Gentleness does not require you to tolerate abuse, conceal wrongdoing, or abandon necessary boundaries. You can speak firmly and respectfully at the same time. You can say that an action is wrong without insulting the person who committed it.

When correction is necessary, focus on the behaviour and its consequences. Avoid exaggeration, name-calling, threats, and bringing up unrelated past failures. Let your words be governed by truth, love, and self-control.

d) Depend on the Holy Spirit for Self-Control (Galatians 5:22-23)

Galatians 5:22-23 identifies love, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance among the fruit of the Spirit.

The Christian's victory over destructive anger is not achieved by human determination alone. We need the Holy Spirit to transform our character and strengthen us to respond differently when we are provoked.

As you pray, study Scripture, worship God, and obey His Word, allow the Holy Spirit to correct your attitudes and direct your reactions. When you sense anger rising, ask Him for grace to remain calm and act wisely.

Do not merely pray for God to change the people who offend you. Ask Him to change your own heart, strengthen your self-control, and make you more like Christ.

Biblical Example: Abigail's Wise Intervention (1 Samuel 25:14-35)

David became angry with Nabal after Nabal insulted him and refused to provide assistance. David was preparing to retaliate, but Abigail approached him with wisdom, humility, and carefully chosen words. Her intervention helped prevent bloodshed. This account demonstrates how calm speech and wise action can interrupt the destructive course of anger.

4. PUT AWAY WRATH THROUGH FORGIVENESS AND LOVE

One of the most effective ways to overcome persistent anger is to practise biblical forgiveness. Many people continue to experience anger because they repeatedly revisit an offence, rehearse what was done to them, and imagine how they might retaliate. Forgiveness helps us surrender the desire for personal vengeance and entrust justice to God.

Forgiveness does not mean that the offence was acceptable or that trust must be restored immediately. Reconciliation may require repentance, honesty, accountability, and time. In situations involving abuse or danger, appropriate boundaries and protection remain important. Nevertheless, believers must not allow hatred and revenge to become the governing attitudes of their hearts.

a) Remember How Much God Has Forgiven You (Ephesians 4:32)

Ephesians 4:32 calls believers to be kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven them.

When we remember the mercy God has shown us, we become more willing to extend mercy to others. We recognise that we, too, have failed, spoken wrongly, and needed forgiveness.

This does not mean that every offence is insignificant. Some wrongs are deeply painful and have serious consequences. Yet the forgiveness we have received through Christ calls us to reject hatred and the desire to destroy those who have hurt us.

Ask God to help you see the offender as a person accountable to Him, rather than someone you must punish through bitterness. You can forgive while still requiring accountability and maintaining wise boundaries.

b) Refuse to Take Personal Revenge (Romans 12:19)

Romans 12:19 teaches believers not to avenge themselves but to leave room for the judgement of God.

Revenge promises satisfaction but often creates further pain. A person who responds to every insult with another insult becomes trapped in an endless cycle of retaliation.

Leaving vengeance to God does not mean refusing to report a crime, seek lawful protection, or pursue legitimate justice. It means refusing to take personal revenge or use sinful methods to settle a matter.

You do not need to repay every wrong in the same way it was committed. Trust God to judge righteously, and choose a response that protects your integrity and honours His Word.

c) Pray for Those Who Offend You (Matthew 5:44)

Jesus taught His followers to love their enemies and pray for those who persecute them.

Praying for an offender can help loosen the grip of hatred on the heart. It shifts our attention from revenge to God's authority and reminds us that we are called to reflect the character of our heavenly Father.

At first, you may find it difficult to pray sincerely for someone who has wounded you. Begin by asking God to help you release resentment, bring justice where necessary, and work according to His will in the situation.

You are not required to pretend that the person has done nothing wrong. Rather, you are choosing not to allow the wrongdoing to turn your heart towards hatred.

d) Choose to Overcome Evil With Good (Romans 12:20-21)

Romans 12:21 says, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

The natural reaction to mistreatment may be to return the same treatment. However, the believer is called to a higher standard. We must refuse to let another person's wrongdoing determine the kind of person we become.

Overcoming evil with good may mean speaking respectfully instead of abusively, refusing to spread gossip, declining to retaliate, or taking a peaceful step towards resolving a disagreement.

Doing good does not mean placing yourself in danger or enabling continued wrongdoing. It means maintaining a godly heart and choosing righteous actions, even when others behave unjustly.

Biblical Example: Joseph Forgives His Brothers (Genesis 45:1-15; 50:19-21)

Joseph had strong reasons to be angry with his brothers, who had betrayed him and sold him into slavery. Yet when God elevated him to a position of authority, Joseph did not use his power to take revenge. He provided for his family and recognised God's providence in preserving lives. Joseph's response teaches us that forgiveness can free the heart from revenge and enable us to respond to past pain with wisdom and compassion.

5. BUILD A LIFESTYLE OF PEACE, PATIENCE, AND SELF-CONTROL

Putting away wrath and anger is not a one-time decision alone; it is a way of life that must be practised continually. Some people apologise after an angry outburst but repeat the same behaviour whenever they are provoked. God calls us to deeper transformation, where patience, peace, and self-control increasingly characterise our daily conduct.

A peaceful life does not mean that we will never encounter difficult people or frustrating circumstances. It means that we learn to respond to these challenges under the leadership of the Holy Spirit. As our character grows, we become more capable of handling conflict without losing our spiritual balance.

a) Make Peace a Deliberate Pursuit (Romans 12:18)

Romans 12:18 instructs believers, as far as it depends on them, to live peaceably with all people.

Peace does not always depend entirely on us because other people also make choices. However, we must take responsibility for our part in every conflict. We should not deliberately provoke others, spread hostility, or refuse every reasonable attempt at resolution.

Where you have contributed to a misunderstanding, admit your part. Where a conversation can help, seek a suitable opportunity to talk. Where reconciliation is not immediately possible, continue to act with respect and avoid unnecessary hostility.

You cannot control every person's attitude, but you can choose not to become a source of needless conflict.

b) Practise Patience in Difficult Situations (Colossians 3:12-13)

Colossians 3:12-13 calls believers to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and longsuffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another.

Patience enables us to give people room to learn, grow, and correct their mistakes. Without patience, we may expect everyone to understand things immediately, perform perfectly, or agree with us at all times.

Practise patience with your family, colleagues, church members, and those whose personalities differ from yours. Correct mistakes when necessary, but do so without treating every failure as a personal insult.

Remember that God is also working on your character. Extend to others the patience you desire them to show you.

c) Guard Your Heart and Your Speech (Proverbs 4:23)

Proverbs 4:23 teaches us to guard our hearts diligently because the issues of life flow from them.

Angry words usually begin with thoughts and attitudes that have been entertained in the heart. If we continually feed resentment, suspicion, and fantasies of revenge, those attitudes may eventually appear in our speech and actions.

Guard your heart by meditating on God's Word, refusing destructive gossip, and addressing offences before they grow into deep resentment. Be careful about the conversations and influences that repeatedly stir up hostility in you.

Make a habit of speaking words that encourage, correct constructively, and promote peace. Your mouth should be an instrument of blessing, not a weapon used to punish people when you are upset.

d) Practise Daily Repentance and Spiritual Growth (Psalm 139:23-24)

Psalm 139:23-24 records David's prayer for God to search his heart, know his thoughts, and lead him in the everlasting way.

We need this attitude of humility because we may not always recognise the full extent of our anger. We can become accustomed to shouting, harsh criticism, impatience, or resentment until these behaviours seem normal.

Ask God to reveal attitudes that do not please Him. When you discover that you have reacted wrongly, confess your sin, apologise where appropriate, and take practical steps to change. Do not defend a sinful habit merely because it has existed for a long time.

Spiritual growth requires consistency. Each day, surrender your emotions, decisions, relationships, and words to the Lord. With His help, you can develop a more peaceful and Christlike character.

Biblical Example: Stephen Prays for His Persecutors (Acts 7:54-60)

As Stephen was being stoned, he prayed that the Lord would not lay the sin of his persecutors to their charge. His response reflected a heart that refused to surrender to hatred even in the face of terrible injustice. Stephen's example points us to Christlike forgiveness and reminds us that God's grace can sustain His people in extremely difficult circumstances.

CONCLUSION

Wrath and anger can damage relationships, weaken our witness, and lead us into actions that dishonour God. Ephesians 4:31 calls us to put them away, while the surrounding Scriptures teach us to replace destructive reactions with kindness, forgiveness, patience, and love. We must identify the roots of our anger, renew our minds through God's Word, practise self-control, and depend on the Holy Spirit for lasting transformation. When we fail, we should repent sincerely and take practical steps towards change.

Today, make a deliberate decision not to be ruled by anger. Refuse to let offences control your words, bitterness poison your heart, or revenge dictate your actions. Learn to listen carefully, answer gently, forgive sincerely, and pursue peace wherever possible. The same God who commands you to put away wrath is able to strengthen you to do so. Yield your heart to Him, and let the peace of Christ govern your life, your home, your ministry, and your relationships.

PRAYER POINTS

1. Father, deliver me from every spirit of uncontrolled anger in Jesus name.

2. Lord, give me the grace to control my tongue and reactions in Jesus name.

3. Father, heal every wound that feeds anger and resentment in my heart in Jesus name.

4. Lord, uproot pride, jealousy, and impatience from my life in Jesus name.

5. Holy Spirit, produce patience, gentleness, and self-control in me in Jesus name.

6. Father, help me to forgive those who have offended me in Jesus name.

7. Lord, deliver my family from quarrels, hostility, and division in Jesus name.

8. Father, teach me to respond wisely when I am provoked in Jesus name.

9. Lord, help me to pursue peace without compromising righteousness in Jesus name.

10. Father, make my life a testimony of Your love and peace in Jesus name.

PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS

1. You shall not be controlled by wrath or destructive anger.

2. You shall receive grace to speak with wisdom and gentleness.

3. Every root of bitterness in your heart shall give way to God's peace.

4. You shall overcome provocation through the power of the Holy Spirit.

5. Your home shall experience greater peace, love, and understanding.

6. You shall receive strength to forgive and refuse personal revenge.

7. Your words shall bring healing, encouragement, and restoration.

8. You shall grow in patience, meekness, and self-control.

9. You shall not destroy your opportunities through uncontrolled reactions.

10. You shall reflect the character of Christ in your conduct and relationships, in Jesus' name. Amen.