LOVE THAT COSTS SOMETHING

LOVE THAT COSTS SOMETHING

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Ephesians 5:1-2

Key Verse: “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.” (Ephesians 5:2, KJV)

Supporting Texts: John 3:16; John 15:13; Romans 5:8; 1 John 3:16-18; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; Philippians 2:5-8.

Description: This message teaches that genuine Christian love is demonstrated through sacrifice, selflessness, forgiveness, service, and a willingness to put the good of others before personal convenience.

INTRODUCTION

Love is one of the most frequently discussed subjects in Christianity, yet it is also one of the most misunderstood. Many people profess love when everything is convenient, when they are appreciated, and when their interests are protected. However, the true test of love comes when loving requires sacrifice, patience, forgiveness, giving, or personal discomfort. Love is not merely what we say with our mouths; it is what we demonstrate through our actions.

In Ephesians 5:1-2, Paul calls believers to be imitators of God as His beloved children and commands them to walk in love. He presents Jesus Christ as the perfect example of this love. Christ did not merely speak about loving humanity; He gave Himself for us. His love took Him to the cross, where He paid a price we could never pay. The cross reveals that genuine love is willing to make sacrifices for the good and redemption of others.

As Christians, we must understand that love is not always comfortable. Sometimes, love means forgiving someone who has offended us, helping someone who cannot repay us, serving when we would rather rest, or remaining faithful when others disappoint us. This does not mean accepting abuse or enabling wrongdoing. Rather, biblical love seeks the genuine good of others while remaining faithful to truth, wisdom, and righteousness. God calls us to demonstrate a love that reflects the character of Christ.

1. THE LOVE OF CHRIST IS OUR PERFECT EXAMPLE

Christian love begins with looking at Jesus Christ. We cannot fully understand the depth of divine love by examining human relationships alone. Human love can be influenced by emotions, expectations, personal benefits, and changing circumstances. The love of Christ, however, is revealed through His deliberate decision to give Himself for our salvation.

Paul does not merely tell us to talk about love; he commands us to walk in love as Christ loved us. Walking suggests a consistent lifestyle. Love must become the pattern of our daily conduct, not an occasional expression reserved for special moments.

a) Christ Loved Us Before We Deserved It (Romans 5:8)

The Bible says that God demonstrated His love towards us while we were still sinners. Christ did not wait until humanity became righteous before He made the provision for our redemption. His love moved towards us when we were spiritually helpless.

This teaches us that genuine love is not based solely on the worthiness of its recipient. If we only love people who have earned our affection, we have not yet understood the depth of Christ's example. We must learn to show kindness, pray for others, and seek their good even when they have not done anything to deserve special treatment.

Practical application: Do not make people earn every expression of your kindness. Show Christlike love through sincere concern, respectful treatment, and compassionate action.

b) Christ Gave Himself Willingly (John 10:17-18)

Jesus declared that He laid down His life willingly. His sacrifice was not an accident or an unwilling surrender. He deliberately embraced the Father's redemptive purpose because of His love for humanity.

Love that costs something involves a deliberate decision to give what is valuable. It may require giving our time, sharing our resources, surrendering our pride, or accepting responsibility when it would be easier to walk away.

Practical application: Identify something valuable you can give to help another person: your time, attention, resources, skill, or encouragement and give it willingly.

c) Christ Loved Us Completely (John 13:1)

John records that Jesus loved His own to the end. His love was not temporary or dependent on favourable circumstances. Even as He approached the cross, He continued to demonstrate His commitment to those He came to save.

Christian love must not disappear whenever relationships become difficult. There are moments when patience, prayer, wise counsel, and a willingness to work towards reconciliation are necessary.

Practical application: Be consistent in your love. Do not allow every disagreement or disappointment to turn you into an enemy of the person involved.

d) Christ's Love Was Expressed Through Action (1 John 3:16-18)

The apostle John teaches that we know love because Christ laid down His life for us. He then challenges believers not to love merely in word or tongue, but in deed and truth.

A person may speak beautifully about love while refusing to help anyone. Genuine love becomes visible through compassion, generosity, service, truthfulness, and practical support.

Practical application: Turn one expression of love into a concrete action today. Encourage someone, assist a person in need, visit someone who is lonely, or offer meaningful help.

Biblical Example: Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet (John 13:3-5, 12-15)

Jesus, their Lord and Teacher, took the position of a servant and washed His disciples' feet. He demonstrated that love is not too proud to serve. If the Master could stoop to serve His followers, no Christian should consider humble service beneath his or her dignity.

2. TRUE LOVE REQUIRES SACRIFICE

Sacrifice is one of the clearest marks of genuine love. Sacrifice means willingly giving up something valuable for a greater good. It may involve money, time, comfort, personal preference, or an opportunity to pursue one's own interest.

Not every sacrifice is visible to other people. Some of the greatest expressions of love happen quietly: a parent staying awake to care for a child, a spouse making room for the other's needs, a believer giving privately to someone in distress, or a church member faithfully serving without public recognition.

a) Love Gives What Is Valuable (John 3:16)

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. The greatness of God's love is revealed in the greatness of His gift. He did not merely make a statement about His concern for humanity; He provided the means of salvation through Jesus Christ.

Our gifts do not purchase God's love, because His love is freely given. Rather, our willingness to give demonstrates that His love is working in us.

Practical application: Give according to your ability and with a willing heart. Your gift may be financial, material, emotional, spiritual, or practical.

b) Love Makes Time for Others (Galatians 6:2)

The Bible commands believers to bear one another's burdens. Sometimes, the greatest need of another person is not money but time, attention, understanding, or companionship.

We live in a world where people are often too busy to notice the pain of others. Yet love teaches us to pause, listen, pray, and offer support when someone is struggling.

Practical application: Make time for your family, church members, friends, and people who need encouragement. Do not allow busyness to destroy meaningful relationships.

c) Love Serves Without Seeking Applause (Matthew 6:3-4)

Jesus taught that acts of giving should not be performed merely to attract human praise. Love does not need a public audience before it becomes generous. It finds joy in doing what is right, even when nobody notices.

Service becomes distorted when recognition is the primary motivation. When people fail to appreciate us, our love may be tested. But service offered to God can remain meaningful even without public acknowledgement.

Practical application: Do something good for someone without announcing it or expecting praise. Let your heavenly Father be your ultimate reward.

d) Love Counts the Cost but Chooses What Is Right (Luke 10:33-35)

The Good Samaritan interrupted his journey, attended to an injured stranger, used his resources, and arranged for further care. His compassion cost him time, effort, and money.

The Samaritan did not merely feel sorry for the wounded man. He accepted responsibility for taking practical steps to help. This is the difference between sympathy that stops at emotion and love that moves into action.

Practical application: When you encounter a genuine need, ask what responsible action you can take rather than assuming someone else will handle it.

Biblical Example: The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37)

The Samaritan's love crossed social boundaries and demanded personal involvement. He did not ask whether the wounded man could repay him. His example reminds us that love is demonstrated by mercy, generosity, and practical assistance.

3. LOVE COSTS US OUR PRIDE

One of the most difficult things love demands is the surrender of pride. Many relationships are damaged not because reconciliation is impossible, but because people refuse to admit wrongdoing, apologise, listen, or forgive.

Pride says, “I must win this argument.” Love asks, “How can we pursue what is right and restore peace?” Pride protects personal image at all costs, while love values truth, humility, and the wellbeing of others.

a) Love Is Not Puffed Up (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Paul teaches that love is not boastful or proud. Genuine love does not constantly seek superiority or demand to be treated as more important than everyone else.

A proud person may possess great knowledge, wealth, position, or spiritual gifts but still struggle to maintain healthy relationships. Love teaches us to use our abilities to serve rather than intimidate others.

Practical application: Treat people with dignity regardless of their social status, education, age, or financial position.

b) Love Is Willing to Apologise (James 5:16)

When we offend others, love requires us to acknowledge our wrongdoing and seek forgiveness. A sincere apology is not a sign of weakness; it is evidence of humility and moral responsibility.

We should not use phrases such as “I am sorry you feel that way” to avoid accepting responsibility when we have clearly done wrong. A genuine apology identifies the offence, accepts responsibility, and seeks to make things right where possible.

Practical application: If you have hurt someone, take the initiative to apologise sincerely without making excuses or shifting the blame.

c) Love Listens Before Responding (James 1:19)

The Scripture instructs believers to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. Many conflicts grow because people listen only to prepare a defence rather than to understand what the other person is saying.

Love makes room for another person's perspective. Listening does not mean agreeing with everything said; it means showing enough respect to understand before responding.

Practical application: In your next disagreement, allow the other person to finish speaking before you respond. Seek understanding rather than merely seeking victory.

d) Love Forgives as Christ Forgave (Colossians 3:13)

Forgiveness is costly because it requires us to surrender the desire for revenge. It does not pretend that the offence never happened, nor does it automatically restore trust or remove consequences. Rather, forgiveness releases personal vengeance and places justice in God's hands.

Sometimes, forgiveness is a process that requires prayer, wise counsel, and healthy boundaries. Where there is abuse or danger, love does not demand that a person remain exposed to harm.

Practical application: Ask God to help you release bitterness and pursue healing. Where appropriate and safe, take a wise step towards reconciliation.

Biblical Example: Joseph Forgives His Brothers (Genesis 45:1-8; 50:19-21)

Joseph had suffered betrayal at the hands of his brothers, yet when God elevated him to a position of authority, he chose to preserve their lives and provide for them. He did not deny the evil they had done, but he recognised God's ability to bring good out of their actions. His response demonstrates the power of forgiveness and freedom from bitterness.

4. LOVE REQUIRES US TO PUT OTHERS BEFORE SELFISHNESS

Selfishness asks, “What will I gain?” Love asks, “What is right, and how can I contribute to the good of others?” This does not mean neglecting legitimate responsibilities or allowing people to exploit us. It means refusing to make personal convenience the highest rule of life.

A selfish person may give only when there is a benefit, serve only when there is recognition, and remain committed only while the relationship is rewarding. Christlike love goes beyond personal advantage and seeks the good of others in a wise and responsible way.

a) Love Does Not Seek Only Its Own (1 Corinthians 10:24)

Paul instructs believers not to seek only their own good but also the good of others. This principle challenges the habit of making every decision around personal advantage.

In a family, it means considering the needs of one's spouse and children. In the church, it means serving for the good of the congregation rather than seeking position alone. In society, it means acting with fairness and concern for the wellbeing of others.

Practical application: Before making an important decision, consider how it will affect the people entrusted to your care.

b) Love Considers the Needs of Others (Philippians 2:3-4)

Paul calls believers to reject selfish ambition and conceit, and to consider the interests of others. This requires humility and a willingness to look beyond our own experiences.

A loving person does not assume that everyone has the same strength, resources, or opportunities. Instead, love responds with patience and compassion while maintaining wise judgement.

Practical application: Look for someone whose burden you can help lighten. Offer assistance without making the person feel inferior.

c) Love Serves Rather Than Dominates (Mark 10:43-45)

Jesus taught that greatness in His kingdom is expressed through service. He came not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Leadership becomes Christlike when authority is used to protect, guide, equip, and strengthen others. A leader who demands sacrifice from everyone else but refuses to serve has missed the pattern of Jesus.

Practical application: Whether you are a parent, pastor, employer, or leader, use your position to build people rather than exploit them.

d) Love Is Generous Towards Those in Need (Proverbs 19:17)

Scripture teaches that kindness shown to the poor is regarded as lending to the Lord. God takes seriously the way we treat vulnerable people.

Generosity is not limited to the wealthy. A person may have little money but still offer food, encouragement, practical assistance, prayer, or valuable information. The important issue is a sincere heart expressed through responsible action.

Practical application: Make room in your plans and budget to help others according to your capacity. Give freely, wisely, and without humiliating those you assist.

Biblical Example: The Early Church Shares Its Resources (Acts 4:32-35)

The early believers demonstrated practical concern for one another. Those who possessed resources were willing to share so that the needs of the community could be addressed. Their love was not merely a doctrine they preached; it was a lifestyle that made a visible difference.

5. LOVE REMAINS FAITHFUL WHEN IT IS DIFFICULT

It is easy to love when people appreciate us, respond positively, and meet our expectations. The real test comes when we face disappointment, misunderstanding, rejection, or inconvenience. At such times, love must be guided by the character of Christ rather than by temporary emotions.

Faithful love does not mean tolerating every behaviour or pretending that wrongdoing is acceptable. Biblical love rejoices in truth, confronts sin appropriately, protects the vulnerable, and continues to seek what is good.

a) Love Is Patient (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Patience enables us to respond with grace when others are slow to change or difficult to understand. It does not mean ignoring serious problems; it means refusing to become needlessly harsh or vindictive.

People grow at different rates. As God deals patiently with us, we must learn to show patience while encouraging others towards maturity.

Practical application: When someone disappoints you, pause before reacting. Respond with self-control and address the issue constructively.

b) Love Is Kind Even Under Pressure (Ephesians 4:32)

Kindness is easy when we feel happy, but it becomes a greater expression of character when we are tired, hurt, or frustrated. A kind response can prevent a small disagreement from becoming a lasting conflict.

Kindness does not require us to hide the truth. We can correct wrongdoing firmly while speaking respectfully and seeking restoration.

Practical application: Choose words that correct without insulting. Let your tone communicate respect even when the message is difficult.

c) Love Blesses Instead of Seeking Revenge (Romans 12:17-21)

Paul commands Christians not to repay evil for evil. He calls them to overcome evil with good. This teaching challenges the natural desire to retaliate when we are offended.

Refusing revenge does not mean abandoning justice or refusing to report wrongdoing. It means that personal hatred and vengeance must not control our conduct. We can seek lawful accountability while refusing to become cruel or malicious.

Practical application: Do not allow another person's wrongdoing to turn you into a person who delights in hurting others. Seek justice without nurturing revenge.

d) Love Perseveres in Doing Good (Galatians 6:9)

Paul encourages believers not to grow weary in doing good. Sometimes, the results of our love are not immediately visible. People may misunderstand our intentions, fail to appreciate our service, or take time to respond positively.

We must not allow disappointment to make us abandon every good work. At the same time, perseverance should be accompanied by wisdom, healthy boundaries, and discernment.

Practical application: Continue doing what is right, but seek God's wisdom about where and how to invest your time, energy, and resources.

Biblical Example: Stephen Prays for His Persecutors (Acts 7:54-60)

As Stephen was being killed, he prayed that the Lord would not lay the sin of his attackers to their charge. His response reflected the forgiving spirit of Jesus on the cross. Stephen's example shows that Christlike love can remain present even in the face of terrible hostility.

6. LOVE THAT COSTS SOMETHING PRODUCES ETERNAL FRUIT

The sacrifice of love is never wasted when it is offered in obedience to God. Its fruit may not always be immediate or visible, but it can strengthen families, heal relationships, build the church, support the vulnerable, and reveal the character of Christ to a watching world.

We must remember that we do not sacrifice to purchase salvation or earn God's favour. We love because God first loved us. Our good works are the fruit of His grace operating in our lives.

a) Love Becomes a Witness to the World (John 13:34-35)

Jesus said that people would recognise His disciples by their love for one another. Christian love is therefore part of our public testimony. The world needs to see the reality of the gospel in the way believers treat one another.

A church may have impressive facilities and powerful programmes, but persistent hatred, division, and selfishness damage its witness. Love strengthens the credibility of our message.

Practical application: Make your home and church places where people experience truth, kindness, respect, and genuine concern.

b) Love Strengthens the Church (Ephesians 4:15-16)

The body of Christ grows as every member contributes and the whole body builds itself up in love. Spiritual gifts are important, but they must operate in a spirit of love and service.

When members are willing to encourage one another, bear burdens, resolve disagreements, and serve faithfully, the church becomes healthier and more effective in its mission.

Practical application: Use your gifts to strengthen people rather than compete with them. Become a dependable contributor to the growth of your local church.

c) Love Brings Blessing to Others (Hebrews 6:10)

The writer of Hebrews reminds believers that God is not unjust to forget their work and labour of love. God sees acts of service that human beings overlook.

This assurance should not turn love into a business transaction in which we help people merely to obtain a reward. Rather, it encourages us to remain faithful because our labour in the Lord is known to Him.

Practical application: Keep serving God and people with a sincere heart. Do not measure the value of your service only by the recognition you receive.

d) Love Reflects the Character of God (1 John 4:7-8)

The Bible declares that God is love. As His children grow in fellowship with Him, His character should increasingly become visible in their relationships. Love is not simply an activity we perform; it is a quality God desires to develop in us.

The more we understand the mercy God has shown us, the more willing we should become to show mercy to others. The more we appreciate Christ's sacrifice, the more willing we should be to live sacrificially for His glory.

Practical application: Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal areas where selfishness, pride, resentment, or indifference is hindering your love. Cooperate with Him as He transforms your character.

Biblical Example: Barnabas Encourages Others (Acts 4:36-37; 9:26-27)

Barnabas used his resources to help the needy and later stood with Saul when other believers were afraid to receive him. His generosity and encouragement helped strengthen the Christian community. His life demonstrates that love can cost money, reputation, time, and personal comfort while contributing to God's work in the lives of others.

CONCLUSION

Ephesians 5:2 presents Jesus Christ as the supreme example of love that costs something. He gave Himself for us, demonstrating that genuine love is more than words, emotions, or good intentions. It is expressed through sacrifice, humility, forgiveness, generosity, service, patience, and faithfulness. The call to walk in love is a call to allow the character of Christ to shape our daily choices. We must be willing to surrender pride, selfishness, resentment, and the desire for personal convenience whenever they prevent us from doing what is right.

However, sacrificial love must remain guided by biblical truth and wisdom. It does not mean purchasing salvation, accepting abuse, enabling wrongdoing, or abandoning legitimate responsibilities. We love because Christ first loved us, and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can demonstrate His love in our homes, churches, workplaces, and communities. Let your love become visible through your actions. Be willing to give, serve, forgive, encourage, and help. May people encounter the love of Christ through the way you live.

PRAYER POINTS

1. Father, fill my heart with the love of Christ in Jesus name.

2. Lord, deliver me from selfishness and pride in Jesus name.

3. Father, give me grace to love sacrificially in Jesus name.

4. Lord, help me forgive those who offend me in Jesus name.

5. Father, make me a blessing to people in need in Jesus name.

6. Lord, teach me to serve without seeking praise in Jesus name.

7. Father, remove bitterness and hatred from my heart in Jesus name.

8. Lord, help me love people with truth and wisdom in Jesus name.

9. Father, make my life a witness of Your love in Jesus name.

10. Lord, let Your love flow through me every day in Jesus name.

PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS

1. You will walk daily in the love of Christ.

2. You will overcome selfishness and pride.

3. You will love others with a sincere heart.

4. You will receive grace to forgive and release offences.

5. You will become a blessing to many people.

6. Your home will grow in love and peace.

7. You will serve God faithfully without seeking human praise.

8. You will overcome bitterness through the power of the Holy Spirit.

9. Your life will reveal the character of Jesus.

10. You will finish your race in faith and love, in the mighty name of Jesus.