MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND COHABITATION IN TODAY'S WORLD

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND COHABITATION IN TODAY’S WORLD

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Matthew 19:4-9, Hebrews 13:4

Supporting Texts: Genesis 2:18–25, Malachi 2:14-16, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Ephesians 5:22-33

INTRODUCTION:
Marriage, as ordained by God, is a holy covenant and not a casual contract. In today’s world, however, the sanctity of marriage is under attack. Divorce is becoming more common, cohabitation is increasing, and the concept of godly courtship is being abandoned for worldly alternatives. This cultural shift is threatening the foundation of homes, families, and even the Church.

God’s standard for marriage is clear from the beginning: one man, one woman, joined together in covenant for life. Divorce was never His original intention, and cohabitation without the blessing of marriage dishonours God’s design. Many couples today choose convenience over commitment, and pleasure over purity, but Scripture calls believers to honour marriage with holiness and integrity.

This message seeks to confront cultural norms with biblical truth, challenging believers to uphold godly standards in courtship, marriage, and family life. The Church must be a light in this dark age—showing what Christlike love, faithfulness, and purity look like in relationships.

1. GOD’S ORIGINAL DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE MUST BE HONOURED
Marriage is a divine institution, not a social experiment or convenience.

a) God Made Them Male and Female (Matthew 19:4)
Marriage is between one man and one woman, created by God for companionship, purpose, and procreation.

b) Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Contract (Malachi 2:14–15)
God views marriage as sacred; it reflects His covenantal love.

c) The Two Shall Become One Flesh (Genesis 2:24)
God joins husband and wife in spiritual, emotional, and physical unity.

d) What God Has Joined Together, Let No Man Separate (Matthew 19:6)
Marriage is not to be dissolved by human decision but to be preserved through divine grace.

Biblical Example: Adam and Eve were joined by God in the Garden of Eden, setting the standard for marriage (Genesis 2:18–25).

2. DIVORCE GRIEVES THE HEART OF GOD
Though permitted under certain conditions, divorce is not God’s perfect will.

a) God Hates Divorce (Malachi 2:16)
Divorce disrupts the covenant, damages lives, and reflects brokenness, not God’s design.

b) Divorce Was Allowed Because of Hardness of Heart (Matthew 19:8)
Jesus clarified that divorce is a concession, not a command.

c) Adultery Is One Biblical Ground for Divorce (Matthew 19:9)
Even with biblical grounds, forgiveness and restoration are always encouraged first.

d) Reconciliation Is God’s Desire (1 Corinthians 7:10–11)
Couples are encouraged to work through differences rather than separate.

Biblical Example: Hosea’s persistent love for Gomer, despite her unfaithfulness, reflects God’s heart for reconciliation (Hosea 3:1–3).

3. COHABITATION IS A DISTORTION OF GOD’S PLAN
Living together before marriage violates biblical principles of purity and honour.

a) Marriage Should Be Honoured by All (Hebrews 13:4)
Sexual relations belong within the covenant of marriage, not outside it.

b) Fornication and Impurity Dishonour the Body (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5)
God’s will is our sanctification—living in holiness, not lust.

c) Cohabitation Breeds Temptation and Instability
Without commitment, couples are more vulnerable to sin and separation.

d) God’s Blessing Rests on Obedience
Cohabiting couples miss out on the full blessing God intends for marriage.

Biblical Example: Joseph refused to touch Mary before marriage, demonstrating honour and self-control (Matthew 1:18–25).

4. GODLY COURTSHIP BUILDS A STRONG FOUNDATION
Christian relationships should reflect purity, prayer, and purpose.

a) Do Not Be Unequally Yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Believers must marry those who share their faith in Christ.

b) Seek God’s Will in Choosing a Life Partner (Proverbs 3:5–6)
Rely on God’s direction—not feelings alone—in choosing whom to marry.

c) Build Relationships on Love, Not Lust (1 Corinthians 13:4–7)
Godly love is patient, kind, and pure.

d) Involve Godly Mentors and Accountability (Proverbs 15:22)
Wise counsel ensures spiritual alignment and emotional maturity.

Biblical Example: Isaac and Rebekah’s courtship involved prayer, family counsel, and divine leading (Genesis 24:12–27).

CONCLUSION:
Marriage is God’s sacred design, created for companionship, covenant, and Christlike love. In a generation that is redefining marriage and rejecting biblical values, believers must uphold the truth. Divorce, while permitted under certain circumstances, is not to be taken lightly. Cohabitation and ungodly courtship dishonour God and damage lives.

Let us honour marriage, uphold purity, and pursue relationships God’s way. Whether you are single, married, or divorced, God’s grace is available to guide and restore. His plan for your life and relationships is always for your good and His glory.

PRAYER POINTS:
1. Lord, help me honour marriage according to Your Word.
2. Father, restore every broken relationship and home.
3. Deliver me from every form of impurity and compromise.
4. Teach me to wait on You and choose wisely in relationships.
5. Let godly love and covenant keep my marriage strong and enduring.

PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS:
1. Your marriage shall reflect the glory and covenant of God!
2. Every foundation of impurity in your relationship is broken today!
3. You will enjoy peace, purpose, and purity in your courtship and marriage!
4. God is restoring broken homes and healing wounded hearts!
5. You shall walk in honour, wisdom, and lasting joy in your relationships!

LESSONS ON MARRIAGE

1. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS*

Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse’s weakness, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength.

2. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY*

No one is an angel, therefore, avoid digging one’s past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. Try to forgive and forget. The past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future!

3. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT’S OWN CHALLENGES*

Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shining marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!

4. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS*

Don’t compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.

5. *TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR*

When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Rumours,  Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, winning, nagging, PRIDE,  Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.

6. *THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE*

There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a MOTOR CAR with a gear oil, gear box, etc If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and expose the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. – Many of us are careless about our marriage… Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.

7. *GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE*

God gives you, her or him in form of raw materials in order for you to mold what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve.

8. *TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK*

You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get married to her because she's slim but she becomes a little fat after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at long last.

9. *MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS PERMANENT*

Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce, though it’s permitted only in extreme cases.

10. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY*

Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdrawn. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.

*May God grant us the grace and wisdom to succeed in it.