HANDLING OFFENCES WITH MATURITY

HANDLING OFFENCES WITH MATURITY

By Rev. Samuel Arimoro

Main Text: Luke 17:1-5

Supporting Texts: Matthew 18:15-17, Proverbs 19:11, Colossians 3:12-13, Romans 12:17-21, Ephesians 4:31-32

INTRODUCTION:
Offences are a reality in life and ministry. Jesus said it plainly: “It is impossible but that offences will come” (Luke 17:1). As long as we relate with people, we are bound to experience hurt, misunderstanding, betrayal, or injustice. However, how we respond to these offences determines whether we grow in grace or fall into bitterness.

Immaturity reacts impulsively—seeking revenge, spreading the offence, or withdrawing in pain. But maturity seeks peace, chooses forgiveness, and commits to restoration. Handling offences with maturity is a mark of spiritual growth and Christlikeness.

Every offence is an opportunity to display the character of Christ. The enemy uses offence to divide families, churches, and friendships. But mature believers break that cycle through wisdom, love, and grace.

1. UNDERSTAND THAT OFFENCES ARE UNAVOIDABLE (Luke 17:1)
Maturity begins with expectation—knowing offences will come helps you prepare to respond correctly.

a) Don’t Be Surprised When People Hurt You (2 Timothy 3:12)
Even righteous people face betrayal and misunderstanding.

b) Know That Offences Can Be Tools for Growth (James 1:2–4)
God uses tough situations to build our endurance and patience.

c) Avoid Becoming Easily Offended (Ecclesiastes 7:21–22)
Not every word or action deserves a reaction—overlook minor offences.

d) Guard Your Heart From Bitterness (Proverbs 4:23)
Unresolved offence poisons the soul and stunts spiritual growth.

Biblical Example: Joseph was offended by his brothers, but he chose to forgive and bless them (Genesis 45:1–15).

2. TAKE INITIATIVE TO RESOLVE CONFLICT (Matthew 18:15)
Don’t wait for the offender to apologise—maturity takes the first step toward peace.

a) Address Issues Privately First (Matthew 18:15)
Don’t broadcast the issue—start with personal conversation.

b) Speak the Truth in Love (Ephesians 4:15)
Balance honesty with gentleness when confronting others.

c) Involve Wise Counsellors If Needed (Matthew 18:16–17)
When private talks fail, bring spiritual leaders to help mediate.

d) Aim for Reconciliation, Not Just Explanation (Romans 12:18)
Seek to restore the relationship, not to win the argument.

Biblical Example: Paul confronted Peter for hypocrisy, but did it for the good of the gospel (Galatians 2:11–14).

3. LEARN TO FORGIVE QUICKLY AND COMPLETELY (Colossians 3:13)
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling—and it must be repeated.

a) Forgive As Christ Forgave You (Ephesians 4:32)
Christ’s forgiveness is our standard, not people’s behaviour.

b) Release the Offender From Your Judgment (Romans 12:19)
Vengeance belongs to God; let Him handle justice.

c) Don’t Keep a Record of Wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Love keeps no scorecard of past hurts.

d) Let Go So You Can Heal (Isaiah 43:18–19)
You can’t embrace your future while holding on to the offence.

Biblical Example: Stephen forgave his murderers even while they were stoning him (Acts 7:60).

4. GROW IN EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL MATURITY (Proverbs 19:11)
Spiritual growth enables us to rise above offence and pursue peace.

a) Be Slow to Anger (James 1:19–20)
Take time to respond, not react—anger clouds judgment.

b) Choose to Love Even When It's Hard (Luke 6:27–28)
Bless those who hurt you; it reflects God’s heart.

c) Spend Time in God’s Presence (Psalm 119:165)
Great peace have they who love God’s law—they are not easily offended.

d) Keep an Eternal Perspective (2 Corinthians 4:17–18)
When you live for eternity, you won’t be weighed down by temporary pain.

Biblical Example: Jesus, even while on the cross, prayed for His enemies: “Father, forgive them...” (Luke 23:34).

CONCLUSION:
Offences are unavoidable, but bitterness is optional. When you respond to offence with maturity, you shut the door to the devil and open the door to healing and peace. God calls us not only to endure offences, but to overcome them with love and wisdom.

Choosing forgiveness does not mean condoning wrong behaviour—it means freeing yourself from the chains of offence. When you handle offence maturely, you reflect the heart of Christ and build a stronger, more united Church.

PRAYER POINTS:
1. Lord, help me not to be easily offended.
2. Give me the grace to forgive those who hurt me.
3. Help me to respond to conflict with love and wisdom.
4. Heal every wound in my heart caused by past offences.
5. Let the spirit of unity and peace reign in our church and family.

PROPHETIC DECLARATIONS:
1. You will not fall into the trap of offence!
2. The Lord will fill your heart with peace and forgiveness.
3. Every plan of the enemy to divide you shall be scattered!
4. You will rise above every offence and walk in maturity!
5. God will use you as an agent of reconciliation and healing.