ATTRACTING GODLY FRIENDS AND ROLE MODELS
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24 ESV
1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ (1 Cor.11:1) NIV.
INTRODUCTION
This message is in 2 parts. In the first part We shall discuss about godly friends and how to attract them. In the second part we shall look at Godly Role model and how we can attract them.
DEFINITION OF TERMS
1. FRIEND:
someone who has a bond of mutual affection who is not a family relation.
A True Friend Has your Back
Someone who is a true friend stands up for you. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically, they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. They don't care who is trying to harm you; they will defend you anytime, anywhere. If they can help you, they'll do it without reservation or reward.
A true friend is not one who repeatedly is telling you negative things other people say about you. First, they make it clear by their words and by their actions where they stand when it comes to you. Secondly, they don't just merely standby silently when others are tearing you down no matter what consequences they may face socially.
A true friend is a friend when it is convenient and when it is not. They stand by you consistently both when you are present and when you are not.
A true friend is authentic and believes in you.
They stand by you through thick and thin.
They are authentic and honest with you.
A real friend accepts you as you are.
They can encourage you to become a better version of you, but they also help you see the beauty of who you are right now.
Who is a Godly Friend?
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24 ESV
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. -John 15:13 ESV
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. -Proverbs 27:17 ESV
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. -1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
I’ve included just a few here, but, as we can see being a friend, having a godly friendship, according to the Bible means laying down your life for your friend, encouraging and building one another up, “sharpening” another, lifting another up – even keeping each other warm!
How do you do with those things? Think about your circle of friends. Would you lay down your life for them?
Do you speak encouraging words and build them up?
Do you sharpen each other?
For iron, or knives, you sharpen them by running two blades together – how does this relate to your godly friendships?
One of the best examples of true friendship is demonstrated in the friendship of David and Jonathan, son of Saul.
When David was being hotly pursued by Saul, Jonathan sought David out “to help him find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16).
Which leads us onto our second point. Iron sharpening iron is an opportunity to fulfill the Law of Christ. The apostle Paul says that we are to carry and share the issues and burdens that we face daily, to lament over personal sin, advise on how best to repent of it, and rejoice over the conquest of it. This is the same “royal law” mentioned in James 2:8, where we are exhorted to love one another.
16 CHARACTERISTICS OF A GODLY FRIEND
So, what does a godly friend look like?
1. They are Encouraging
A godly friend encourages you when you have good news, a new dream from God or even discouraging news. They share a positive attitude with you no matter the circumstances. This doesn’t mean they downplay the tough news but are “real” with you and help to build you up, particularly in your walk with Christ.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
2. They are Kind to You
In a godly friendship, friends aren’t “snarky” with one another, but, rather, treat you well. Maybe they aren’t buying you gifts, but they are thoughtful, kind and considerate.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Galatians 6:9-10 ESV
3 They Speak Truth to You
In a godly friendship, friends speak truth into your life., even when the truth may be tough to hear. A true friend will love you and genuinely want the best for you. They will tell you good and bad in a God-honoring way. A Christian friend will share with you when they feel you are not honoring God in your words or. Behavior. She will also tell you when she sees your walk with Christ flourishing.
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. – Ephesians 4:25
4. They are There for You in Difficult Times
Be it a listening ear or a hug or even a meal, in a godly friendship, friends are there for you when times get tough. They won’t ignore you or take days to return a call or text.
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:2
Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. – Job 2:11
5. They Speak to You in Love
While a godly friend will speak truth to you, they will do so in a loving manner.
Gentleness, of course, is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) . When speaking to friends (and, really, everyone), we should speak with love and not reproach.
Speaking the truth in a godly friendship can build up the friendship, rather than harming it. You can trust that when a godly friend speaks to you – even about something difficult or pointing out a sinful manner – they are speaking in love.
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, – Ephesians 4:15
6. They Pray for You
In a Christian friendship, a true friend will pray for you and even with you.
Whether you or your friend are going through a difficult time, we all need to be lifted up to our Father in prayer. A godly friend will go before the Lord on your behalf.
Perhaps they pray with you over a good or bad situation. Perhaps they keep you in their daily prayers when they have their own quiet time, but a godly friend will pray for you.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” – James 5:16
7. They Put Others Before Themselves
Have you ever known someone that constantly talked about themselves? Or maybe they were selfish with their time, money and talents? A good friend will put others before themselves. They are intentional in their relationships and serve others in various ways.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. – Philippians 2:3
8. They Know Their Worth
In a Christian friendship, a friend knows her identity in Christ. She knows that she is the daughter of the King.
A godly friend also recognizes your identity in Christ and worth,
Because of this, she doesn’t get jealous when you have good news, but rather cheers you on.
But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, – John 1:12
9. They Help to Build Your Faith in Christ
A good friend will encourage you in your faith. They will help to keep you accountable, encourage your biblical knowledge and prayer life and will remind you of your worth to God.
But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. – Hebrews 3:13
10. They Don’t Expect Anything in Return
A godly friend loves and gives without expecting anything in return. They do what they do because they love you the way God intended for friends to love.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
11. They are Loyal
A godly friend sticks by your side even when times are tough. She stands up for you when she needs to and always speaks positively of you. She is the first to come to your rescue when in need and will defend you, in a loving way, if necessary.
A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. –
Proverbs 18:24
12. They Rejoice in Your Good News
When Mary came to Elizabeth to share that she was pregnant, instead of blurting out her own good news regarding her own surprising pregnancy, she rejoiced with Mary over her news.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. – Romans 12:15
13. They Forgive
All of us have messed up at one time or another. We are fallible. We sin and we have hurt others intentionally or unintentionally. In a godly friendship, it is critical to forgive a friend who has hurt you.
God calls us to forgive. Don’t confuse this with justifying an abusive friendship, though. While we are to forgive, we do not have to stay in a harmful friendship.
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. – Colossians 3:13
14. They Seek Peace and Harmony
A godly friendship is one that cultivates peace. Your Christian friend doesn’t encourage or enjoy drama or strife. She seeks peace. She doesn’t create drama and encourages inclusion and showing God’s love to others.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” –
Matthew 5:9
15. They Listen Well
Godly friendships are ones that both friends seek to be good listeners. They talk without interrupting. They wait to share their own news before the other’s. They aren’t thinking of their response while the other is speaking and they empathize with the other friend.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; – James 1:19
16. They Help Bring Out the Best in You.
We’ve all heard or read Proverbs 27:17 about iron sharpening iron. This is a key ingredient in a godly friendship.
In a Christian friendship, friends are to help us strengthen our walk with God. They help us to be the best version of ourselves. As a godly friend, this is your command, as well.
Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17
ATTRACTING GODLY FRIENDS
1. Pray about them
Prayer is necessary when it comes to finding Godly friends. God is interested in your choice of friends as much as he is to you. this is because your choice of friends determines how far you will go in life.
some people were doing well until they met someone that changed the course of their life.
Pray and ask God to bring people across your path that will lift you and bring the best out of you.
Also, pray that God brings someone that you will be a source of blessing to.
It’s viceversa.
In finding Godly friends, prayer is the most important step to take.
2. Position yourself to where they are.
If you want to meet Godly friends, you have to move to where they are. Sometimes, we become attracted to people around where we are positioned which is why it is very important to be rightly positioned.
In the case of Abraham, God said to him in Genesis 12: 1
Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:
This is because he was wrongly positioned and this positioning would prevent him from receiving the blessings, and fellowship God intended for him to have.
Some blessings won’t come to you until you change your positioning or location.
However, it’s important to note that positioning in the case of finding Godly friends can be Church, a bible study group, the gym, a music concert, a prayer event, and much more.
Go down the list and keep trying, not all will work, but one will.
3. Get involved
You have to be involved to be able to make friends, it’s not enough that you position yourself, you have to get involved.
What if Ruth didn’t participate in the harvest, Boaz would not have noticed her.
often, most churches ask for volunteers to fill in a specific post for a big program they want to hold.
You should volunteer to help in these offices. who knows, you might just find that Godly friend that will push you till you become like Christ
4. Join online christian communities
You might be wondering if an online community is the best place to make Godly friends, well I would say that it is not going to hurt if you try.
Join an online community of women, girls who are intentional about their spiritual growth, relationship, and life in general.
Balance is key, you don’t want to be in a one-sided relationship, make sure you find Godly friends in your online community that put a balance to all they do
Who knows, you might be lucky to find someone in your online community that stays in your area of residence
5. Join a bible study group
You can decide to join a bible study group of women or girls in your local assembly or in another church within your locality.
With this idea, you get to interact with girls who have the same goal and mindset as yours.
This is the kind of group I will love to join.
In the case where you cant find a bible study group to join, you can create one yourself, then invite people to join online and offline.
6. Check up on old friends
Checking up on old friends might just do the magic, sometimes the answer to your prayers might be in an old friend.
7. Attend conventions like this and other programs organized by the church.
However, you should do this whichever way the Holy spirit leads you.
Now, that you have got a couple of friends, how do you keep them?
Being a good friend isn’t an easy task. Just as in a God-centered marriage, the secret of being a godly friend is to keep Christ at the center.
Remember the purpose of friendship: to honor God. Be the kind of friend God wants you to be. Seek God with all your heart and He will give you the power to be a good friend. Love others the way that Christ loves you and you will become the best friend a girl could ask for.
PART 2
GODLY ROLE MODELS
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ (1 Cor.11:1)NIV.
1. WHO IS A ROLE MODEL?
A role model is someone who provides us with an example for living and choice-making; someone we desire to follow and emulate, for good or ill. Most of us have someone we look up to, be it a teacher, parent, friend, pastor, or a celebrity.
While there are godly role models, there are also ungodly ones who influence their followers to make choices that will lead them to the pit of hell. Today we are reflecting on godly role models, and the Lord is asking you this question: “Are you a godly role model?” Apostle Paul was so sure of himself and his position in Christ that he was bold enough to challenge those within his sphere of influence to imitate him as he himself imitated the Lord Jesus Christ (1Corinthians 11:1)
2. ARE YOU A GODLY ROLE MODEL?
A role model is a person looked to by others as an example to be imitated. In 1 Corinthians 11:1, the Apostle Paul said, “You are to imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” Paul not only taught this doctrine so that the people would believe, but he showed them by example, how they were supposed to live.
Someone is always watching us. We are being watched in our homes, on our jobs, in school, at the doctor’s office or grocery store, and in our houses of worship. So whether we choose to do so or not, we are always influencing someone for good or for bad because we are continually being watched.
2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT says, “So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord–who is the Spirit–makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image.” People should be imitating us only if our lives are becoming more like Christ. The Lord is going to hold every one of us accountable to Him for the kind of example we set before people.
Jesus Christ is our perfect Example. He has always been our perfect Example and He always will be. We should imitate the actions and conduct of men and women, therefore, only if their actions line up with Scripture and only if their actions are like those of Christ.
What do people see when they observe our life? Do they see Christlikeness? Are we a good example for our children to imitate, or our spouse, co-workers, friends, and associates, who may trust in the Lord but are immature or young in their faith? Someone is always watching us. If we cause someone to stumble because of our actions or because of something we said, Christ said that, it would be better for us to have a large millstone hung around our neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea (Matthew 18:6).
Paul told Timothy in 1Timothy 4:12: “… Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” Timothy was probably about 40 years old when Paul told him this. Paul knew that if Timothy were to lead his flock, he could not put anything in their way that would be a stumbling block to them. Timothy was to be a pattern – an example for the believers to imitate. Paul cautioned Timothy that someone was always going to be observing his life.
Beloved, someone is always observing our life, too. We must always watch what comes out of our mouth—in our word and conversation. We must always walk in love, no matter what persecution comes our way. Christ already told us that those who desire to live a godly life will face persecution (2 Timothy 3:12). We’re called to be faithful in our attendance at church, in prayer, in our ministries, in studying the Word. We’re called to be pure, to walk in holiness. When we are around the opposite sex, we should govern ourselves according to the Scriptures, not according to the world.
Just like Paul, we want to be able to say, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” If we can’t say those words with assurance in our heart, we need to work on those areas in our life that would cause someone to stumble. Someone is always watching us. We will either influence them for Christ or send them in the other direction. As Christians, we want to be witnesses for Christ!
3. WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF ATTRACTING A GODLY ROLE MODEL?
The Bible recognizes the influence of role models. Parents are natural role models: “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction / and do not forsake your mother’s teaching” (Proverbs 1:8).
Church leaders are role models of righteousness: “In everything set them an example by doing what is good” (Titus 2:7).
And teachers wield great influence in shaping lives: “Everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher” (Luke 6:40).
If we are unwise in our choice of role models, we run the risk of being led astray and to compromise our beliefs and morals.
Proverbs 13:20 warns, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Thus, the Bible stresses the importance of finding not only a good role model but a godly one.
Jesus is the perfect role model, of course. Although He suffered the same temptations we do, He remained sinless throughout His life (Hebrews 4:15).
Jesus spent much of His spare time in conversation with His Father (Matthew 14:23; Mark 1:35), He showed love and compassion (Luke 7:13; Matthew 15:32), and He worked hard (John 5:17; Matthew 9:35). Jesus, the Son of Man, is a role model to all, and there is none better to follow. We are to “follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:21).
Throughout the Bible, the Lord often called imperfect people to act as role models, including Moses, Elijah, King David, Simon Peter, and many others. The apostle Paul often spoke of his important job as a role model for the early church (1 Corinthians 4:16; 11:1; Philippians 3:17; 1 Thessalonians 1:5–7; 2 Thessalonians 3:7–9).
Peter warned of false teachers within the church who would be negative role models: “Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute” (2 Peter 2:2).
When it comes to finding a good role model, a good thing to consider is whether the person you look up to consistently seeks to imitate Christ (see 1 Corinthians 11:1; 1 Peter 2:21).
Does this person display the fruit of the indwelling Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23)?
Does he or she strive to live in harmony with others (Romans 12:16)?
No human is perfect, and everyone will falter at some point in their lives (Romans 3:23), but if you can answer “yes” to these questions, then you have probably found a good and godly role model.
EXAMPLES OF FEMALE ROLE MODELS IN THE BIBLE
These are often some of the first names that come to mind when we think of great role models from the Bible. However, there are also many great women in the Bible who demonstrate the character traits we strive to develop and employ in our own lives. Take a closer look at Mary and other female characters to discover what makes them good role models.
A. MARY
Mary demonstrates bravery and a servant heart (Luke 1:26-56).
Initially troubled by the angel Gabriel’s greeting from the Lord, Mary took his advice to be unafraid as she received the news that she would give birth to the Son of God. Though the news would have been particularly hard to swallow as a young, engaged woman, Mary embraced it as a servant of the Lord and sent her praises to God.
B. REBEKAH
Rebekah demonstrates hospitality and a desire to fulfill God’s will (Genesis 24).
Abraham’s senior servant encountered Rebekah at a well while searching his master’s homeland to find a bride for Isaac. When asked, she immediately put the needs of the man and his camels first by offering them water and a place to stay. Rebekah was also eager to fulfill the Lord’s will when it became clear that He intended for her to become Isaac’s bride. Though her family requested more time with Rebekah, she willingly went with the servant right away to meet and marry her groom.
C. RUTH
Ruth demonstrates loyalty (Ruth 1-4).
After the death of her father-in-law, husband, and brother-in-law, Ruth insistently clung to her mother-in-law Naomi’s side instead of returning to her own family and homeland. Together they made the journey to Naomi’s homeland where Ruth married a relative of Naomi’s husband and bore a son to carry on the family name.
D. HANNAH
Hannah demonstrates great faith, prayer, and praise (1 Samuel 1-2:11).
Though she struggled with grief and bitterness as the result of being barren, Hannah exhibited great faith by continually taking her infertility to the Lord in prayer. After the long-awaited birth of her son Samuel, whom she dedicated to the Lord, Hannah praised God in prayer for his gift.
E. ABIGAIL
Abigail demonstrates wisdom and compassion (1 Samuel 25).
When Abigail’s husband refused to show kindness and generosity to David and his men, she bravely stepped up to create peace between the two parties. Her quick, kindhearted offering of food and drink to David and his men saved the lives of many in her community.
F. ESTHER
Esther’s feminine distinction was used by God to put her in a place of powerful influence with the king. It was because of her God-given beauty that she was chosen to be the queen and she showed the most strength of character by urging all of the Jews to fast and pray for deliverance. Then risking her own life, brave young Esther approached the king with a plan of her own.
CONCLUSION
I would like to conclude with
Facts about building godly relationship either as a friend or role model.
a. Be rightly related to God: it is the God factor in any relations that makes it a godly one.
b. Learn to define every relationship you are in, relationships are in levels. For some you may need to set boundaries for yourself e.g
when relating to opposite sex.
c. Do not be in a relationship solely for your own advantage or where someone is taking advantage of you.
c. Communicate in a tactful and sensitive manner. Proverbs 15:1
e. You cannot be a friend to everybody, befriend people of like minds.
